Growing up as a little girl I didn’t realize how special I was. At the age of seven, I was taken away from my biological parents and placed in foster care. I felt that was one of the worst days of my life. Placed in three foster homes throughout my childhood, the third home I was adopted at the age of twelve. As a young child, I always thought I would wake up and be back home with my biological parents. Yeah I thought I was a dreaming, until I came to realize it was reality, reality that I really was away from my mom and dad. As the years past by and I got older, I would always wonder “Why me? Why did I have to get taken away? Why couldn’t it be any other child?” I never understood why. So growing up I always felt something was missing. As a child I was insecure, I felt ugly, I didn’t stand up for myself. There were times I would look in the mirror and just stare at myself thinking, “Why am I ugly? Why did God make me?” I most definitely had low self-esteem. You would never catch me smiling with my teeth showing when I would take pictures, if so it was rare. In school I never liked reading, or getting up in front of the class to do presentations. I always would worry about what other people would think or say. I was always the “Skinny girl” so I struggled with that, not liking my size. So I was insecure about being “skinny, the girl that needed to gain weight.” I wanted to gain weight, and look like the other girls that were “alot prettier than me.” I wanted to fit in. So yeah of course I would say, “Why me?” I hated myself because I felt I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, or smart enough. So I struggled with these things through my childhood of growing up, holding everything inside.
So now, as an adult I found my purpose of living, my worth as a woman/mother. I understand all my “why’s!” Everything in my life happened for a reason and I am forever grateful and thankful, because that has made me the person I am today. I have learned to love me for who I am. All those insecurities as a child has turned into amazing beauty. I understand now, and I am so thankful I was adopted as a child. Having all these life experiences has helped me become confident in myself, loving others, helping others, and teaching others. God doesn’t make any mistakes, I always had a purpose in life. And my purpose in life is to teach, guide, inspire, motivate, and share my unconditional love with the world! No matter what we go through in life, we can overcome it! Life has it’s ups and downs. As for me in my times of struggle, worry, and pain, I pray and remain humble. Always count your blessings, and know there is someone going through worse things than you are. I wanted to share my story with the world to inspire others, to help them find their worth, to show them they are not alone, and that they do have a purpose in life.
So yes, I have learned to love me for who I am. I know I am beautiful inside and out! I have learned to embrace and except me for who I am. From my size, hair, color of my skin, strengths, flaws, mind, body, and soul! To this day people say, ” You so skinny” or say, “You need to gain weight!” But honey child, I am alot more confident in myself. I respond back with a “Thank you for the compliment!” Or “Yup, everyone come in different shapes and sizes!” Or “I been small my whole life, this just how I’m meant to be!” With a big smile showing my teeth. I’m always smiling showing my teeth in every picture now! When I look in the mirror, I see beauty within myself! Always remember, “Never Give Up” and “Nothing Won’t Fail But A Try!”
~My Unconditional Love and Peace goes out to the World~