The String holding a rope

Dedication: Person who is suffering from mental illness, or disorders, or anyone who thinks they’re alone Some one who has no one Or going through depression

Born out of the uk, in a hospital I no longer remember. Born like a normal newborn. Father away for work in another country. Just me, my mum and my granny in the hospital. Everyone was happy. I was my mum’s first born so she said she hadn’t felt much pain as she didn’t know what was happening. I was born in a wonderful family. My father came to visit me as soon as he got days off from work. I ate, I drank, I slept. And that’s about it. I didn’t open my eyes as much, didn’t move my hands or legs as much, I was very inactive. My mother didn’t take that as a factor to be worried about. But when I was around 3 and 1/2 months to 4 months old, I was getting very pale. I wasn’t eating or doing too well. So my mum decided to take me to the doctors. Doctor said I had to take a blood transfusion as soon as possible, my mum got worried, well I was only 4 months old, so my mums heart had shook. But she was even more shocked when the doctor had said, “this is her first transfusion and might not be her last”. My mum didn’t understand what he tried to say. He repeated in a clear tone, “I’m trying to say she might have something serious, she might have a disorder such as thalassemia!” She was confused, she had learnt about it in university but she didn’t believe him, no she didn’t want to believe him. She tried to stay positive, took me to a better doctor, one of the best hospitals in the city, the ones who do less work but more bill. They told my mum it could take a while to bring my reports, so my therapy was correct about “less work and more bill”, they wanted to loot her money, anyways time went by and the results came in, they said the exact same thing. My mum’s world was shook. She didn’t know what was happening, she was depressed. I was only 4 months old, and I was diagnosed with some blood disorder the family never had, never heard of, nor faced. She told my father, he came as soon as possible, he stayed for a while, I took some transfusions. My transfusions in the beginning were very difficult because it was very hard to find blood from my family members, my uncle donated blood at first, but on the second month they found some one else, on the third month they had to track some one else to donate blood, like that all the family members hated us or tried running away from me, like I was a monster or a blood sucking vampire. In the end they found out a very reliable blood bank, they obviously knew about blood banks but they didn’t trust it, because it was a poor country and god knows how it runs, and who donated blood. Was the blood good? Was it contaminated? How would they now???? Anyways, they transferred me to there, they had no other choice. I grew up like that. When I was 2-3 years old, and I could talk with common sense, my mum had warned me to never talk about my blood transfusions or my disorder with any member of my family or any one at all. I don’t know why, I don’t know what was the reason, but I never questioned her. And maybe that might be the reason why I feel really insecure about my self, any why I don’t share my inner feeling. I am currently 17, nearly 18. I haven’t shared my story, that was just the beginning, but one day I will share my story through an autobiography with the whole world. I want to succeed first, I want to start now, as I feel like I’m getting weaker, I don’t know how long I have left, but I will be remembered, I’ve never spoken about this with any of my friends….yet. Don’t know when I will change that. But They will find out one day, and when they question me, I will gather up courage to answer their questions

I went through a lot of depression as I felt like I was alone, I’ve never spoken about it with my mum nor my dad. I don’t have anyone to talk to this about, my family like my cousins have found out but no one asks me, my teachers knew but when they asked I ran away.
I am alone, and one day I will complete my story until everyone In my life knows, I will not die till my autobiography is completed.

I am known as Miss Bubbles, and my purpose is to not rest till others smile 🙂