Always almost there…

PRELUDE
When everyday life is a struggle, keep going.

When you fail, know that you can fail up well.
When you fail, know that you can fail up well.
When you fail, know that you can fail up well.

When you fall, stand back up and fall again. Dance. Embrace the chaotic descent and the pseudo-choreographed re-summit.

You are strong. Ask for support.
You are strong. Be your own support.
Your are strong. Provide support.

CALL TO ACTION

Come as you are.

Be you.

Be you, here, in your darkest moments.

Be you, here, when your light is shining brightest.

Be you, here, when you don’t know what you are or if you are worth anything.

Be you, here.

Just be. You are welcome here.

THE CRUX OF IT

There is a Buddhist saying often repeated to students beginning their study of Dharma, of what is. As recounted by Pema Chodron, an American Buddhist Nun, in her book The Wisdom of No Escape, the saying goes something like this: “If you are interested in understanding what is [and in understanding your self, the world, and your infinite possibilities], then you have to accept the fact that you are never going to get it all together, you’re never going to get your act together, fully, completely. You’re never going to get all the little loose ends tied up.”

I sit at the beginning of a journey to accept my own messiness.

Here is what I know.

Life is not tidy.

Each of us can and must decide how we react to the world, the people, and the situations we find ourselves in dozens of times every day.

I—as an “I” that is singular and unique and an “I” that is every girl, every woman, everywhere— have the capacity to control how I react to and interpret every experience. I can choose to interpret an event as positive, negative, neutral or all three.

Because I can choose, I can shape my destiny.

Here is what I think.

“I” do not trust my power.

“I” do not know how to recognize or realize my power.

“I” hold the ultimate responsibility and the innate ability to discover and unleash my power.

These are the heaviest, most frightening thoughts “I” have ever known.

Here is what I hear in my brain’s echo-chamber.

You. Yes you.

You, woman who has had everything she ever needed;

You, woman who has no reason to fall apart or complain;

You, woman who has all the support in the world;

You, woman who has an amazing and supportive family;

You, woman who has not suffered war, assault, starvation;

You, woman, hush with your nonsense.

You, woman, are the only thing in your way. You should be ashamed.

Here is what I feel.

I feel lonely. I feel sad.

I feel confused.

I feel overwhelmed by the (im)possibility of being well and allowing my shine to glow.

Here is what I believe.

With time, risk, vulnerability, resilience, friendship, and support—I will be deaf and blind no more.

I will see that the burden of being me is the privilege of living a life well lived.

I will understand that every moment of life is a gift and that anything is possible.

I will see the greatness I might become and already am.

I will know, intuitively, how to take this knowledge and make it into a gift…

a gift that is sometimes well-wrapped

a gift that is sometimes stuffed into a three-month-old, paper grocery store bag

… that I can give away—to those I love, to those I do not understand, to the world.

That is what I want.

I want to be one in a sea of bodies and souls, travelling and gathering together to find, share, and give strength to others.

I want to find my way. I want to find my way moving with you, woman