The day I lost my mom

I am Cherilyn Riveral, I just want to share my story. I just want to let this out.

I was 8 when my mom died, my sister was 12 and my older brother was 10. It was a day before the New Year’s Eve. It was raining so hard. We were playing by that time with my mom. My father went outside to run some errands my mother asked him to do. It was a happy moment turned into sadness. My mom went to the kitchen to fill the pitcher with some water when suddenly she dropped it on the ground. We were bothered by the noise outside so we went out. I couldn’t exactly put it into words but I know one thing, my eldest sister shouted out loud and cried. My mom was lying on the floor. She had a stroke. Still, I couldn’t understand everything. My sister was telling me to ask some help to my uncle which was our neighbor. I ran so fast despite the strong rain and wind. I went there and told them what my sister told me. Still, I didn’t know what’s happening.

When I returned back to our house, my Uncle was shaking my mom off, calling for her name and trying his best to make my mom to be okay. I was crying by that time because my older siblings also did. Few minutes later, my father arrived. He was panting so hard, he cried, and one thing I heard from him, “In Jesus Name!” He was repeatedly saying it and when he couldn’t help it, he decided to bring my mom to the hospital. But before she was brought to the hospital, my mom kept on refusing my dad about bringing here there. I think she’s tired already. I think she wants to rest.

When they brought my mom to the hospital, I was left in my Uncle’s house. They let me slept there since my siblings also went to the hospital together with my dad. According to my Uncle and dad, my mom wasn’t accommodated in the hospital right away because there were no doctors on duty by that time. My siblings were crying, my dad and Uncle was so angry because my mom was dying but no one was there to help. It was when my mom was nearly dying that the doctor arrived. I don’t know what happened after that but it was so painful for me when they were telling me the story.

The next morning, it was still dawn when I heard my Auntie and her mom talking about my mom. I thought everything was okay because they told me that my mom was doing fine and was in the hospital. My uncle arrived, maybe that was 6 o’clock in the morning when he told me to get ready and bring some clothes for my mom because she needed it for her stay in the hospital.

After almost an hour of travelling, I was shocked when my Uncle stopped in the funeral homes. I saw my father sitting there, with red puffed eyes. I saw everyone there, they were hugging me. I was puzzled why they were there, why they brought me there because I thought my mom was in the hospital. Minutes later, my father led the way to my mom. She was lying there, covered with white cloth. The personnel of the funeral homes opened it, and I ran out to my mom immediately. I was crying, shouting and was trying to wake her up. My father was trying to console me but I couldn’t just help it. I just lost my mom. I lost my refuge in everything. I lost my number 1 supporter. I lost everything.

It was the most painful New Year’s Eve for me, for us. Everyone was celebrating it with fireworks and foods on the table but ours is different. We had mourning flowers, candles, and a coffin in front of us. I kept on looking on her wishing she’d wake up or maybe it was just a dream.

It was one big heartbreak. Our world turned upside down. It was also the saddest 13th birthday for my sister as we were taking my mom to her grave.

Life as I know it. People come and go.

As I was writing this, I couldn’t help myself to cry. Its’ been 14 years of growing up without her. It was so hard. I am 22 years old right now, but I am still crying some other nights thinking what would be our life if my mom was alive. I still couldn’t help myself to ask God sometimes, “why?” nevertheless, I know everything has a purpose. I may not understand it yet, but I know everything will be okay. Soon.

There’s so much to tell but i’ll just stop right here. I love you so much Mom! Wish you’re here!

Story shared by...

Cherilyn Riveral

Just a little wounded. Trying to heal myself