Dedication: I dedicate this story to all the girls and women worldwide who are fighting battles of their own everyday I also dedicate this story to sexual assault survivors and domestic violence survivors And lastly I dedicate this story to all of those who are disabled, diagnosed with chronic medical conditions, physical disabilities, mental health disabilities and those who have or are struggling with self harm and so much more etc
Trigger warning: Before reading this post, please be aware that it contains descriptions of childhood rape and sexual assault.
Hello my name is saida luvenia Mahoney I am 25 years old I am from Oakland California
My birth date is September 22nd 1996
I am a full time student in college I am proud to be a student at Sacramento City College I also attend American River College, Folsom Lake College, Sierra College and Butte College I am a music, dance, theatre, film and tv major I am also a cheerleader on the cheer team as well
I’m proud to be a performing arts major my goal is to graduate college and continue my performing arts studies at the University level and have a professional career doing music, dance and theatre.
I will also be starting my journey in participating as a Athlete with the Special Olympics Of Northern California
I am also part of the Aktion Club
I am also proud to be part of the Miss Amazing pageant I am thankful that I was crowned the 2021 California Miss Amazing Miss Queen title I am forever grateful.
I was also able to go to the Miss Amazing Nationals Summit in Nashville it was such a huge wonderful experience I am forever thankful and grateful that I got to participate in the ceremony
I am honored that I was able to represent my state at the nationals
I love doing music, I love dancing and theatre it means the absolute world to me doing performing arts and I couldn’t ask for anything better.
I also go to music school as well
I am part of the Bay Area Thrive Program
I also love to play sports and travel
When I was in high school I have done choir and theatre as well as dance
My life has challenges I have went through a lot growing up and over the years and I wanted to share my story and bring awareness of what I go through so that whoever else is struggling with any medical conditions or disability I hope he or she can find comfort and support in reading this
I have 2 rare chronic complex diseases that I am diagnosed with
I am also diagnosed with multiple disabilities, Chronic Medical Conditions, Mental Health Disabilities and Physical Disabilities.
I was born with a rare chronic congenital genetic disease called Partial Trisomy Of 8q, partial 8q duplication, or you can call it Partial Trisomy Of 8q, and or Partial Duplication Of 8q and lastly Partial Duplication Of 8q Syndrome
My genetic condition is congenital meaning I was diagnosed with it since I was a baby
It is also known as a chromosomal duplication disorder
I have copies of chromosome 8 and it is longer than it’s supposed to and the reason why is because it has an extra copy of some information due to how it affects me and how it affects my DNA and cells.
My condition has affected every cells and dna of mine
I was born with anomalies due to my genetic condition
My genetic disease affects my growth stature due to my height Level
My genetic disease cause me to have oral dysphagia it affects me in different ways when eating and drinking
and it also cause me to have a few facial abnormalities as well
I have craniofacial abnormalities due to my genetic disease
It also caused me to be delayed in walking I wasn’t able to walk right away or talk that well when I was a little girl.
My genetic disease cause me to be both physically and mentally handicapped
In my case my genetic disease is a mild and moderate medical condition.
I also have Asthma and Scoliosis and multiple disabilities as well I have also been diagnosed with over the years growing up
When I was 2 years old I had to have emergency surgery on my Lung due to a ring defect as a result from my genetic condition and also due to the anomalies that I was born with.
If I didn’t get the surgery I would have died.
My genetic condition is a complex genetic disease it also affects my brain function of how it functions and all the ways it causes me to have numerous difficulties and challenges in life.
My genetic disease is a very very Rare condition
My genetic condition also causes me to be handicapped due to how my genetic disease affects my Brain function and it also causes me to struggle on a daily basis in Life.
My genetic disease is also a neurodevelopmental disability due to all the ways I have been affected by my condition.
My genetic disease also causes me to have a few difficulties with how I do intake with my eating and drinking
As I get older I will have either a few or some changes due to my genetic disease as time go by
The Anomalies from my genetic disease is what cause me to be at risk of other challenges in life due to my genetic condition and the chromosomal abnormalities I was born with and continue to have.
I have multiple disabilities due to my genetic disease that I have been diagnosed with over the years
I don’t let my genetic condition stop me from doing absolutely nothing
I have also been diagnosed with another rare chronic disease called Hidradenitis Supprativa (HS) also known as others such as (Pyodermia Sinifica Fistulans, Velpeau’s Disease, Fox Den Disease,
Verneuil’s Disease, Acne Conglobata, Apocrine Acne, Apocrinitis.)
Having HS is a rare chronic illness.
My HS is also a rare complex disease
I am undergoing different treatment plans and I recently started injection treatment plan to help get my HS under control so I can get better
I have been in the hospital lots lots of times due to my disease
Having HS is a very overwhelming condition to have
My HS has caused me to have pain and discomfort where I had to go to the hospital to get help to find ways for it to get better because I was in so much pain I am currently getting different treatments for my HS when I am not in the hospital I have a in home treatment plan for my disease when I’m not in the hospital.
I will have painful cysts and scars from my disease too me when I look at my scars I view them as my tiger stripes because I am fighting hard and I am in the biggest battle ever with my disease
I have been having so much pain, bleeding and swelling and discomfort due to my disease and it has been very very hard
I receive many many injection treatments for my HS.
I will continue to fight this overwhelming disease and fight hard
I had Stage 1 Hidradenitis Supprativa
As I get older I am hoping that my HS doesn’t get worst as time go by and it end up becoming a full on severe medical condition for me
Recently my HS have progressed and it is now a stage 2 (moderate) disease I will be receiving a strong treatment plan to help my HS get better so it can start improving
The rough overwhelming part about my HS is that it is moderate to severe
I am also hoping that I don’t end up having to get surgery done for my Hidradenitis Supprativa or any type of operation done if I ever do need to have surgery for my Hidradenitis Supprativa I will keep my head held up high and be strong
My medical team is working very very hard to prevent my HS from reaching the 3rd and final stage and that’s stage 3
I have went through so much bullying due to my genetic condition and I have went through losing many many friends due to my genetic condition cause my friends told me that they didn’t want any disabled person around them.
Sadly there are no cures for my medical conditions I hope someday that will change
Having rare complex chronic medical conditions , scoliosis, mental health disorders and other disabilities as well have put a huge impact on me it is also overwhelming sometimes as well both emotionally and mentally
I am also physically disabled
I also have struggles of my mental health disorders Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) , Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and Major Depression Disorder (MDD) I also struggle with Social Anxiety as well I struggle with a lot due to my diagnosis and struggles from dealing with bullying and more etc.
I used to self harm for 9 years years due to emotional pain due to severe bullying and I was always feeling depressed
I used to want to commit suicide by jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge and often times I struggled with wanting to commit suicide by using ***
I also tried to commit suicide numerous times I chose not to do it I got into music and it saved me
I had went through a very very difficult moment when I had wanted to die and I tried to commit suicide when I was young due to all the difficulties that I have dealt with from bullying
I used to struggle with self harm too for a extremely long long time I was struggling with severe depression and I felt that I didn’t have a worthy life
My PTSD comes from all the abuse I went through with all the bullies I have dealt with growing up and abuse from a friend as well and the sexual assaults and abuse I went through.
I struggle with my anxiety due to things that is hard for me based on past experiences and memories from all the difficulties that I have dealt with.
I also have another medical condition Tourette’s Syndrome (TS) it is a neurological disorder that make everything very difficult and challenging for me everyday 24/7 I struggle with having my tics and vocal tics and motor tics as well it makes going to school hard and it makes social interaction hard as well
I struggle with having tic attacks when I am very very anxious and I often feel like I lose full control of my body when the tic attacks happens
I also deal with getting discriminated from going to other colleges and I struggle with not being able to be welcomed to do certain activities and programs due to my Tourette’s I have lost so many friends due to my Tourette’s syndrome.
Another disability of mine that I struggle with is having Autism Spectrum Disorder I have Aspergers Syndrome it makes certain social skills interactions hard i also struggle with knowing how to handle conversations too I also struggle with stimming and so much more etc
I struggle with other things related to my Aspergers as well
I struggle with my NVLD as well
I am thankful to have a good treatment plan for my TS and I want to be able to help others feel that they are not alone with TS.
I have other developmental and neurodevelopmental disabilities that I am diagnosed with
I am also diagnosed with Learning Disabilities as well.
Being diagnosed with multiple disabilities chronic medical conditions, Physical Disabilities and mental health disabilities is very very challenging and overwhelming and sometimes rough I have learned how to continue to stay strong through it all and keep my head held high
I am so thankful for all of my wonderful medical teams who are helping me out with all my disabilities and my chronic medical conditions and so much more I am also thankful that they are supportive towards me emotionally .
I will stay strong and keep fighting hard
I have learned how to keep fighting and to stay strong through all the difficulties
I am a survivor of all the difficulties I have dealt with over the years and growing up and dealing with my diagnosis
I am a survivor of self harm
I am a survivor of suicide attempts
I am a Survivor of Domestic Violence
I am also a survivor of sexual assaults and abuse it was a very very traumatizing and emotional experience for me I learned how to get through and get myself help and resources and I want to giveback to help others feel like they have a strong support and advocate.
The first sexual assault I went through was when I was 12 years old and my first ever boyfriend I had at the time Raped me he was 14 years old at the time
I went to his house to visit him and his mother had left the house and I was the only female in the house it was himself and his father
He took me in his bedroom because he wanted us to play video games on his play station and when I went inside his room he locked the door I was so nervous when he locked the door
He then asked me if I wanted to have sex with him I told him no not at all I didn’t want to have sex at the age of 12
He pushed me on his bed and got on top of me and he had sex with me after I told him no he forced me to have sex with him I told him I didn’t want to
It was a very very painful experience
The second sexual assault that happened to me was when I was on the bus the bus driver was a man it was myself and a older boy
I was 16 years old and he was 22 years old
The guy kept making so many remarks too me
He kept saying that I was hot and that he wanted me and then he told me that he wanted to grab me and grab my boobs I told him no he asked again and I told him no again and I explained to him that I was not going to give him no consent I didn’t want anyone grabbing my boobs
He ended up coming to my seat and he grabbed me so hard and he grabbed me by my boobs so hard that I was in pain
I was in tears
The bus driver had gotten off the bus the driver allowed it to happen
I felt so ashamed after it happened I was afraid to tell anyone of what happened
The third time I was sexually assaulted was by my boyfriend at the time he was starting to mistreat me and he decided to pin me against the wall and he said he wanted to try new things on me he said he didn’t want to do anymore hugging and he said he wanted to mess with my vagina and I told him No I told him I don’t want that to happen and he don’t have my consent and no permission to do so
He decided to pin me to the wall and he messed with my vagina and he was literally hurting me so bad he had his fingers inside and I couldn’t even move cause the pain was bad I was so scared to tell my school counselor and teacher I was too scared and afraid to tell anyone
The fourth time was the worst moment my boyfriend at the time threatened me to do oral sex with him and I told him no I will never do that he forcefully put my mouth around his penis and when I tried to move my head he kept trying to keep my head on it and when I was finally able to break away from the grip he hit me
I went to a different area and my male friend and his good friend he ended up grabbing me after I told him no
My boyfriend used to also be physically abusive towards he used to always punch me in my stomach, he used to hit me on my shoulder and he also used to hit me on my neck too
He used to punch me in my stomach so hard that it was hurting me so bad I literally wanted to cry when he punched me I was afraid to react because I didn’t know what he would have done to me
I tried to leave the relationship the first time I was scared when I stayed in the relationship he continued to mistreat me
He was both physically and sexually abusive towards me
I was able to completely leave the relationship
It was very very hard, emotional and difficult experience for me it was very very traumatizing for me to
It was times I used to think that everything was my fault once I got older I learned that it wasn’t my fault at all
I have learned how to stay strong and to never give up and I am very very inspired by my music artists and bands who I have grown up listening to
My music artists and Bands who have inspired me so much and motivated me to be brave and inspired me to raise my voice and follow my dreams are The Eagles, Justin Bieber, Glenn Frey, Don Henley, Linda Ronstadt, Katy Perry, Dolly Parton, Timothy B Schmit, Joe Walsh, Pat Benatar, Reba McEntire, Dan Fogelberg, Tom Petty, Poco, ZZ Top, Tammy Wynette, Hank Locklin, Kenny Rogers, Garth Brooks, Little Big Town, Tom Petty, Journey, Foreigner, Jack Tempchin, Bob Seger, Foreigner, Journey, Peter Cetera, KT Oslin, Demi Lovato, Van Halen, The Doobie Brothers, Michael McDonald, Martina McBride, Trisha Yearwood, Huey Lewis and The News, Merle Haggard, Carla Olson and The Textones, Jackson Browne, Loretta Lynn, Vince Gill, Amy Grant, JD Souther, The Beatles, Steve Perry, Elvis, Dan FogelBerg, Demi Lovato and so many more artists
I am thankful for all of my good Amazing friends I am so thankful for my miss amazing family and friends as well
I wanted to share my story and bring awareness to my diagnosis so that others who are going through the same thing don’t have to feel alone or overwhelmed
I don’t want anyone to be struggling
I have also written and published my e book novel called Surviving: Made To Battle here’s the Link to my e book https://www.wattpad.com/story/259234397?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_writing&wp_page=create&wp_uname=saidamahoney47&wp_originator=lDHszgQaVi%2FaqeNcI48SQfzcgDeyvMtEGAHd5ezE1RrPaIUL56baoxOrHbe9Lq7huBUI4bZKbmDf5N8G9vmMr0Wbdyj4RMqg1zqWVsZk1xOiAN5M%2FBvpM8DN2urBDyqi
I am a Survivor!!!
I am a Fighter!!!
I am a Warrior!!!
If you ever want to reach out to me my Twitter is @DREWSLOVERSMOON @DREWSDESPERADOS @TAKEITEASYDREWS and @DREWSALLNIGHTER my Instagram is @DREWSLOVERSMOON @DREWSALLNIGHTER
My Facebook is saidamahoney
Like my official Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/OMGWHATSHAPPENINGWITHSAIDA/
Follow me on my podcast channel https://anchor.fm/drewsallnighter
Thank you so much for reading my story and my e book novel I really truly appreciate it.
Much Love,
Saida
~
Photo credit: Images provided by the storyteller.
