Dedication: All parents around the world
When your family is your worst enemy but they make you believe that you are, that’s the worst.
When you believe the stuff they call you and start questioning your self?
I lived with my mom for years ago and my dad lived in another house.
I lived with my siblings in a small house. At the time I was 10 or 11 years old. My body started to change, as a normal girl. I was also kinda overweight. My mom didn’t like that and what made it worst was the changes in my body. She started to comment my body and saying that I had to big breast and and my ass was to big. I believed her that’s what hertz the most. She used to call me a whore whenever I wanted to wear a dress. She used to say how no body will like me, how no body will marry me and stuff like that. At the time my parents used to fight a lot and they hated each other. Which made everything even harder. I was also bullied in school and had no friends. It just hurt remembering these days. It’s not like I have recovered from all those shit.
Today I have social anxiety, bulimia and depression , I also tried to commit suicide. I still didn’t talk to any body about those stuff. I live with my dad now and it is also hard here. He comments my body when I wear clothes that showed my body and calls me fat in front of my siblings. So I always wear stuff like hoodies that covers my body so he doesn’t comment my body.
My situation now is like when u know something is wrong but you have been thought that it’s right but u still know it’s wrong but at the same time u think it right ( complicated, I know ) that what I feel about my body, like I know that being fat doesn’t mean I’m ugly but it feel like I’m ugly. I just can’t change that in me which makes it hard for me even today cause I am still overweight. I just hate my body. The feeling that I have to cover my body with hoodies in my own home just not to be called fat is hurting. Even when it’s summer.
When I moved with my dad I used to role a bandage around my breast so no one could notice it cause I have been thought that it’s shameful to have breasts even though others girls had. I used to come home after school and take it of and I remember my breasts were blue and purple in color and they gutted so much.
I still don’t feel comfortable with my breasts and my butt.
I don’t know if any of this may help anyone but I just want to show parents that this is not how ur children is supposed to be treated. I could be a happy teenager today I could’ve loved life and lived peacefully with my self instead of all this.
Just stop, cause this is not fine.