I was always an extrovert. Dancing, being a part of every activity that took place and having a big group of friends was something that I knew I would always love. However as I grew up I became less interested in activities, my friend circle just grew smaller and I became more depressed. I was hard for me to accept the fact that I was depressed, it took me 1-2 years to realise it. I didn’t want to break peoples expectations from me. I did not want to become a failure. Perhaps this was the reason I never truly accepted what I was feeling until all this came shattering down on me. And I remember that day so clearly. I was sitting alone with cellphone in my hand, looking through my contacts. Tear were welling up in my eyes as I searched for a person whom I could call and talk to. At that moment I just wanted someone to talk however I could not find anyone with whom I could share my personal feelings with. I did not want to call my mother knowing that she will worry. I remember thinking that this is it. This is what my life is going to be like. My chest was aching by thinking about being alone. A loser. I tried to calm myself, I could not cry, I thought maybe I was overthinking. But I deep down knew what the truth was. For me that moment felt like end of the world. I didn’t knew what i would do, where would I go and how would I like. For someone who had always been a extrovert it seemed like an end. It still does.
I hope someone is out there you will pull my hand from this lonliness.
And I also want to reach out to people who have gone through the same phase or are going through. I feel helping them out and understanding them can also eventually help me.