Depression

My name is Summer and i’ve been depressed ever since I can remember. My mom and dad split up when I was a baby. I lived with my mom and my older brother lived with our dad and our grandma. My mom lacked responsibility to raise me and I often found myself raising myself. She could never stay in a relationship and even had a few abusive ones. I grew up with very little and I would get picked on because I didn’t have nice clothes. At the age of six I went to go live with my aunt. My aunt was the total opposite of my mom. She had a husband, a nice house, and two kids who had everything they wanted. You would think everything would get better but it didn’t. I was going to school more. My mom hated waking up to take me when I was with her. I loved school and I loved learning but I still had a lot of issues with bullying. I was the quiet kid. Yup, that was me. I’m still a very quiet introvert. My cousins had a lot of friends and I didn’t. It almost felt forced by my aunt for them to hang out with me and I hated it. I wanted to be normal and I didn’t know how. At the age of seven my dad got out of jail for drinking and I stayed with him and his new girlfriend. I soon then had three little half sisters. I was happy because I had a family. Even though, it wasn’t perfect, it was something I always wanted. I loved my sisters and I never wanted them to go through what I did. I took care of them like a mom. At the age of 11, my stepmom didn’t want to be with my dad anymore. My dad wanted me to stay at my grandparents (his parents) for the summer. That’s where my brother spent his childhood growing up. I was overweight at the time but never actually cared about it. At the end of the summer I never went back to my home in Oklahoma. I was so mad because that was we’re my sister was. Instead my dad said I was better off staying in Texas. Living in Texas was a huge change. The schools were harder and I was so stressed about not seeing my sisters. I gained over 50lbs. I found out I had a thyroid problem. I thought I would never lose weight. Boys would never talk to me unless it was something like, “lay off the donuts fatty.” I kept eating because of that. Middle school was the worst, I was constantly being picked on and worried I would never fit in. I had a small group of weird friends but they accepted me. I lost 30lbs over a summer and people were nicer. At the age of 14, my dad attempted suicide. He was so depressed and had no job. I was broken and couldn’t believe he would leave me like that. He survived but nothing was the same between us. I lived across the streets with the neighbors that I was really close to because my house was so hectic. I found myself a new family and I felt safe but I still had a broken one. Things got better. Bullying wasn’t a problem, thanks to puberty. I am now a sophomore in high school. I’m more depressed than ever. I’ve gained so much weight and I don’t like people and what they do to other people. My dad passed away a couple months ago and I’ve not been the same. He passed unexpectedly​. I’ve been so mad since and depressed. Everyone knows but no one comes up to me and makes me feel better, they all just stare. My friends don’t really understand how I feel. I really just want someone to comfort me but I’ve never had that because my mother abandoned me and I’ve never been close to one person. I feel like I’m still stuck in my own mind. I don’t have suicidal thoughts but I’m so sick and tired of people. Little things constantly get me mad. That’s as short as I could tell my story.