Trigger warning: Before reading this post, please be aware that it contains descriptions of childhood sexual assault and sexual abuse.
Just sitting at home playing with my dolls as a ten-year-old would… at the time my grandma and grandpa lived with us. Just sitting in my room he walks in doesn’t say a word and sits on my bed. Sitting there watches me he slowly touched my back and runs his fingers through my hair, I’m not thinking anything of it as I was so young. As I was sitting there playing with my toys he kept touching me rubbing my hands and touching my shoulders as well as my face. I slowly tried to get away a couple of times just because I felt weird being alone with him. When I got to the kitchen I realized we were left home alone. My mindset as a ten-year-old didn’t go to what if he touches me or anything like that all I wanted to do was play with my toys. I went back into my room and he came in following me he then placed his hand on my butt being so young I didn’t know but I felt weird. Not knowing what to do thinking this man is my grandpa he didn’t mean it like that and maybe you would think that to so I let it be. Coming as a month later we were home alone again. Sitting in the living room he would make comments to me as I was so pretty and he would love to be the guy who falls in love with me as he would out my hair behind my ear and whispers that he wants to see me undressed… scared of the fact I didn’t want to lose my grandpa I kept quiet for many years. The worse decision I ever made by doing that I gave him more power it starting to turn into a thing I would be sleeping and wake up and he would be in my room one time I woke up to him trying to take off my clothes. Not being able to yell he held my mouth. The words he said to me keep replaying in my head… as I was 11 he moved they got there own house. It started turning into him asking to take me out to eat and when I told my dad I didn’t want to he got mad in the fact he was my grandpa on our way to get food he would put his hand on my legs and rub them telling me I was everything he dreamed of. I would push his hands hoping he would let go but he never did, he would want me to spend the night and come out and watch me sleep. When I was 12 he looked me in the eye and said the way my body was changing he would take care of me… knowing he said these words to me kills every feeling I have. The last time to touched me he grabbed my breast and my butt saying how i dressed I asked for it… Words he said to me never leave my mind. Every time I have seen him at family things I kept my distance or I made sure someone was with us he would always find a way to look at me and wink with no one else seeing he would pick me up. Having people think he was just acting like my grandpa when he was really just trying to feel my body. I tried talking to my dad about it but no one believed me no one thought I was telling the truth. When I turned 13 we sat and talked he told me since I told people he was going to do bad things that night he rubbed my leg and kissed my neck. Then left. He left my grandma and moved outta state didn’t talk to anyone. Right now at the age 14, he sent me a friend request on Facebook I look at it everyday knowing what he did. I didn’t accept it not decline it I’m scared. Coming stronger as a teen girl every day. Letting go of the things that hunted my body for years.