The Struggles and Challenges I have faced in my life !!

I will tell you some of the things I have been through in my life and the the battles I have been through.

As a child growing up I was diagnosed with chronic lung disease . My mother told me that the preacher has come in 3 times and read me my last rights . She put it to me like that. I can remember one time I was in the hospital . I hope it does not sound stupid but I remember seeing a bright light and a bunch of clouds. So I dealt with my breathing condition my whole life.

At the age of I 11 is started my drinking and that continued till about the age of 35. There will be a point in your life when you wife gives you a choice to choose her or the alcohol . One of the times I was running my farm tractor brush hogging my field about 80 degree that day. And I stopped and radiator was steaming. So STUPID ME turns the cap one click to release the pressure. And the cap blew off in my hand. I got burns up my left arm and luckily I was wearing glasses. But instead of going to the hospital like a Normal Person . I walked do to the house got a shower and went to the bar and got DRUNK. A women drove my pickup home and a guy followed her back to my house to drop my vehicle home. And after my wife came home from work she found me unconscious on the floor. So the next day she gave me the choice her or alcohol ! I chose her.

When I was 18 I dropped out of school and went to Pittsburgh Job Center. And boy did it have a WAKE Up AND REALIZED HOW STUPID THAT DECISION WAS IN LIFE! I was a country boy moved to the city. At the school I was at every 2 weeks a guy would stop buy and he would get you any type drugs you wanted. I did not have a clue what the stuff was. One time one of the guy that I was friends with was leaving the school and had me try Chronic. I guess its marijuana lased with cocaine. I have no idea. So after 8 months I had of living in fear there down there and having to block you room doors when you slept. If you did not sometimes people would come into a random room and do a blanket party to person.. Or they would light the rugs on fire and in the winter you would have to go outside till the fire department would ok the building. My I experimented with marijuana till I was 21. I had my cdl and I made a choice if I wanted to continue to keep my Cdl License I did not need that in my life !!

When I got back home I had $10,000 in the bank. I got that from SSI and my mother put it aside from me. Well when you are 18 and have that much money in the bank that lasted about 3 or of 4 months. But boy in that period I had lots of friends and we drank lots of alcohol.

When I was 21 my father gave me $10,000 I started one of me many failures of owning a trucking company. I had financed the put $5,000 down of it and financed the rest of it. My payments we about $995 a month reasonable at least. It was $18,000 I believe. The work got slow so I parked that in my yard and went out and bought a tri axle dump truck. I financed that also. $46000 for that one. I owned that 3 weeks and the hoist the pick the bed up broke out of the bed and it tipped . It did over $15,000 damage to it and they would not total it. So I filed bankruptcy for $83250 dollars lost both trucks. Right as that was happening I stared seeing my gf Nicole that is my wife still as of today.

So after that I went on the on the road driving for a person and she rode in the truck with me.

When I was 25 I was at a feed mill picking up a load of pig feed. I was up on the on the trailer tarping the load . I was about in the middle of the trailer pulling on the rope. The rope broke I lost my balance and over the side of the trailer I went head first hitting the blacktop. She had no clue what was going. She looked in the mirror and saw me laying on the ground .With a few people were standing around me. She brought them a pillow from the truck. They called the helicopter but we unable to land do to the weather. They got me to the hospital and put a Bolt in my head they said my brain was swelling something like that. I guess you have like 12 min to relieve the pressure they said or I would of been dead. No clue but there was like only minuets to spare. I believe I woke up 2 days later from coma . I was on a respirator. They had to restrain my hands because i tried to pull the thing out of me ! I lost all my cognitive skills so had to learn how to read and write again. And I have blood on my brain now above my left eye. So that’s the time I found out I had a brain. So I proved my wife wrong I guess i don’t use it a lot some days she says.

So when I was 30 I was 5 miles from my house I was driving a Tri Axle log truck and I was crossing a set up train tracks at a crossing with no signals and there was brush and trees along the track. With a Tri axle you had to be on the tracks before you could look down the tracks. Well the train was just 2 engines doing 38 MPH about 550.000 lbs. they weighed. The train struck me right behind the cab of the truck. It tore the cab off the frame and I had my seatbelt on and the cab rolled 200 ft down the tracks. My injuries I sustained from that were. I split he head open my mom said you could see me brain I believe had 25 staples in head. Blew my cornea out of my left eye I lost my iris from that eye, wiped my nose off my face the reconstructed that . Lost a tooth .My right arm was about tore in half I have a rod there now and I believe 20 staples that arm. broke many ribs and punctured my lung raised my diaphragm and my right pelvis was fractured and I had blood coming out my ears . I guess that is bad. When that happened my mother and sister we working at the hospital and and my aunt also. I believe if I remember right my aunt was the person that called the helicopter for the hospital. That being said when I got to the hospital the helicopter was there waiting for me. My mom would not let them put me in the helicopter until my wife saw me . She said she wanted her to see me still alive. She figured that I would Die Mid Flight to the other hospital! God was not ready for me that day!

At 38 I was doing pretty good again in life I worked my self I owned a Triaxle dump truck and I had an employee to drive my other tractor trailer .And about same time . After spending over $8,000 in repairs for a truck I paid $12000 for I parked that and sold it. I went ended up with a F350 and I went all the way to Oklahoma and a guy built me a brand new for $15,000 Tilt Trailer. I thought I was setting really well in life!

Then went to a Dr. Appointment he said your heart doesn’t sound right and referred me to a heart dr. When I was 39 they did a Heart Catherization on me. They told my wife it would take about 45 min to an hour to do it . After two hours she started getting nervous and after 3 hours she was going nuts. I guess It took 3.5 hours . I guess had a 95% blockage they said what even that means. But I guess it was bad. I TOLD MY WIFE SEE I DO HAVE A HEART I PROVED YOU WRONG ONCE AGAIN!!

So after that happened I was unable to drive for 8 months. So the whole blacktop season with my dump truck. I had to employ a different driver to drive that. Paid him over $19000 for the season. So that was to end of that trucking business once again. After that blacktop season .Cause the truck sits for 6 months through the winter months .That money I paid the driver was the money to cover the expenses over the winter. Because you would not believe the bank and the insurance they still want there money . And could care less if your truck is sitting or not !! So my dump truck a people bought it and sent it to Nigeria. And My F350 and and new trailer payment was $1100 just for them. I traded them for a pickup and payments went down to $550 .

And owed owed $12,000 on trailer and he gave me $7500 for and my truck I owed $12000 on and sold it for $10000. So I paying back that balance still.

Now I am 43 I have been having a lot of problems if I do anything really hard work I loose my breath and have hard time breathing. I was told by a Er Dr. one time he told me I needed top loose weight that was my issue. anything really hard work that my Diaphragm is Parlayed. He did a bunch of test breathing tests on me and he confirmed his finding. When I breathe under strain I guess they call it my Diaphragm pinches off my left lung. And I breath about 25%. That was caused by the train accident 15 years prior and the hospital never diagnosed that. He told me that the other hospital DROPPED THE BALL ON YOU WAS HIS EXACT WORDS ! There is no correcting that and I will be that way the rest of my life ! He told me that just do the best I can do and not to quit doin what I am doing.

From October till May I went with out a job. Then I got approved to disability ! I never had a job I kept going to church and we managed to get by. By our tax return and my church actually ended up giving me two different checks for $500 . on 2 different occasions . I also struggled got behind 3 months and my house loans and my trailer Loan I still oven at the bank . Then Gm Repossessed my pickup. I owed $22,000 and they sold it for $9500. Randomly they call me they want there money still. I told them I lost it because could not afford it and now I am on disability I cant afford it now at all. So they will try again in a month. With getting paid one a month now. So I guess after 7 years it comes off you credit report in 7 years I guess that should be about 84 more phone calls I should receive from them.

So here is my luck I guess I was told I am accident prone,
About a months ago I was dragging my roads with my John Deere Lawn mower I went up a bank and flipped over backwards and landed on my chest. It weighed 750 lbs. Well my wife was working that day and I text her and she was not Impressed !! She Swore at me when she got home.

A week after that happened I simply asked her now that I cant work now she work 2 jobs one is part time. I asked her if she would consider getting a 3rd job so she would buy me a new hood for my tractor its like $700 . I told her cause I am on disability and don’t have a lot of extra money after paying most of the bills at home. Well her Response she gave me was not a No Directly. But the WORDS she used I will say that’s a NO !!

Recently I was teaching my 15 year old son to run a Chainsaw I holding a branch and and asked him to trim the branch off well he is new and how you hold a chainsaw. I figured he would just use the tip of it to trim the branch off. WELL YOU DONT HOLD ONTO A PIECE OF WOOD !! It clipped two of my brazed two of my fingers. I got lucky and did not loose them. It was deep enough to brush my middle finger and got the one vein. Well it was shooting blood out. So my son called 911. on my just so happened my son and daughter called their mother she was working her second job at Dollar General. She got the text DAD GOT CUT WITH CHAINSAW AMBLANCE IS ON THE WAY . SO ONCE AGAIN SHE WAS NOT HAPPY WITH ME . I was hoping the ambulance would be gone before she back here from having to leave work. Because she uses some more bad words when she showed up !! And then she followed the ambulance to the hospital and when they opened the back to to take me in the hospital she used some more Bad Words. She is looking for a babysitter for me now but I am kind of the local Celebrity of the area and No Takers !

I have left other parts of my life out but they are some of the things I went through in my life . I hope it inspires someone to never give up . Through the last 20 years about I been with the same women. Now we have not had the best marriage either. We both have had flings that’s a whole another story. But through it all the last 20 years even though I have put her through ALOT and she still SAYS BAD WORDS AT ME. We get through things together. I go to church almost every Sunday. I have failed so many times in my life ! Their is only one reason I believe that I am still alive is God is not ready for me yet. So please don’t give up believing in God !!

Photo credit: Image courtesy of the storyteller.

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I am just a 43 that has been through a lot in life and has to survive and not give up.