the near end for a new beging

Dedication: i fell awful for my mom when saw my body im now 16 and doing my best to stay strong. if i can please everyone stay strong with me

i remeber it like it was yesterday i just turnd 15 and i was already wanting to give up but i stayed for the one i loved as i was fakeing a few smiles so people could enjoy my birthday and then i saw her mom’s car pull up that’s when i was able to show real smile but only if i knew that day she was going to dump me on my birthday for my best friend because about half way through the party i went to give her a hug but whithin that moment she pulled away and i knew something was wrong well at that part her and my bestfriend walked me to my house and well they told me that they have falling in deep love as the tears ran down my face with it being the first heart break ive ever had all i knew was my life and heart was ripped away and burned within the flames of the pain i felt and afther that i remeber my mom bying pizza but she didnt notice or belive what was about to happen to her son well that night i ate the pizza in my head i was saying at least i got a last meal about 30 min later my mom was goingto bed as i watched he go to her room not knowing the wosrt pain in her life was about to be seen i told her i loved her and to always keep me in her heart and she said always my love as she closed her door i remember grabing a knife and that’s when i lost the last bit of control i had as i texted her goodbye and wished them the best of love then i got a text and she begged me not to do it but i already took about 9 bottles of anti deprssant and about 2 and a half bottles of someting really bad when she called my phone i was bairly ably to stand and walk she was begging me to call the cops but i was doing what i could to be somewhere place and forget the life i was in and then i remember falling into the tv and that one noise woke up my mom but by then i was sezzing this part i heard from her and the docters as she opend her door there i was on the floor losing the life within my soul as she screamed in terror at the sight of her last and youngest child on the floor with foam now coming out of my mouth the cops were called with every seceond hoping its not too late the amblunace got there about 30 min later and when they checked my pulse they said i might not live and id probly die in there car but the look on my mom’s face is what made them pack it as quick as they could then i remember seeing my now ex in a slight dreamly like sight as i was forgetting who i was at that moment but i heard a voice i didnt know who but it said to go back and then i remember screaming as i shot up from the bed right when they were about to take me off life surppert when they saw me move the docter said how becasue i was dead and i died almost an hour before as they looked at me and said you have one angle over you because they were told to cut the line for my body and sence then i still hurt but ive saved my own friends from trying and i see thats my purpuse is to help them because something brought me back and i wont waste my time anymore

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to this day i still know my mom will never recover from that night and nether wii i because the hard part afher it happend everytime i sleep thats all i get as a dreamis that night going on and again for a thousand times within mints i wake up screaming with the tears down my face but i learnd that what broght me back alive and pulled me from the dark it did it for a reason because a month later i save my friend from killing himself that killed my soul to see what happy people now at this level as i am but i have to be there for them and anyone because i know what its like to die within itself so please dont ever try to kill yourself because think of your family or friends nd i know the pain hurts because i have to stay away from pills for my safety because i know me and i dont want to but i know that one shot is all you need so please dont do it