She speaks

Some days , when the day is too tough and the night are too dark , I console myself with some poetry

really want to forget
I really do
But how do you erase a pain that you cant put a face in it?
How do i just wake up one day and forget the monstrous faces
Faces that took away my innocence
Broke me into pieces
And silenced me for years
How do i?

I really want to forgive them
That’s what Mama asks me to do each day
But she forgets to teach me how to forgive people who have not apologized
Where do i get the answers of why they harmed me
How do i fix the broken pieces i have lived with for the longest time?

I was only a child
Lets say….
A girls in her prime age , that’s what the society says whenever they hear my story
That i took myself to the rapists
And each part of me that was destroyed was entirely my fault
How do I forgive this?
Do i need to just wake up one day and let it go
Or do i just take them off from this world not to see them again

I really want to forget all their faces
The demonic statues that layed in my little body
Forcing themselves into my vessel
Defiled the vessel
And closed all the doors for my voice

How do i forget the words they forced me to listen that morning
That i was useless
That there was no where i was going
And i would end up begging them for life
Now that i realized all the words they said were lies
How do i let go the pain of believing them for so long
I cant hold on to it for so long.

Photo credit: Image provided by the storyteller.

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Pauline Juma

Am a storyteller , and the founder of Rebirth of a Queen an organisation that offers a safe house to survivors of gender based violence. I believe in a world where survivors will thrive and tell their authentic stories without being intimidated and the only way we can achieve it through economic liberation