Once my grandmother passed away, my mother had to leave to country. I was given immense stress and I fell prey to whenever people called my ugly. I starved myself down to the weight I am today and everything fell apart. I would get dizzy, feel freezing cold, low blood sugar, loss of muscle, depressed, and my periods stopped. My friends were never there for me, they’d tell me to eat more and the situation always worsened. People would now make fun of how my ribs and hip bones are visible. I’d go to parties and hosts would make me eat a lot of embarrass me. I became obsessed with calorie counting and maintaining a deficit. I’d throw away lunches and do anything I had to not to eat. I’m known for being extroverted and passionate but I distanced myself from others and I fell into a hole. I was alone, my parents told me how to get out and my friends helped me with stress, but it was up to me to get out on my own. I was scared of recovery, id get freaked over a little water retention or bloating. After just three weeks of going in the right direction, I find myself to be a happier person, physically I’m okay but mentally healing will always be hard. I have to tell myself it’s okay to eat or tell myself that one Hershey kiss isn’t going to make me gain a pound. I’ve been growing to love myself, I know I can never get a thigh gap because of my bone structure and that’s okay. I’ve started loving my legs for the muscles swimming gives or loving my face for the smile I’m able to show off more. I’ve learned that family will always be there to help you. I’ve learned that sometimes the words best friends is just a title. I’ve learned that sometimes people you expect to care for you don’t and the people you don’t expect care more than they show. I’ve learned that the human body is capable of more and it takes care of things. I’ve learned that nothing gets done until you decide to take control. I’ve learned that I should be thankful for what I have. I’ve learned that I’m alive and everyday is a day to live. I’m not saying that I’m completely passed my habits, but I’m open to change and for me and, I hope others, it’s a big step.