My Life.

Dedication: if my story seems important to people then yes, if my story is lame, weird, not expected. then no.

When I was just about 6 I had my first crush. His name was s, he had black hair, a bit chubby and… i didn’t realize how much i liked him until i sort of bullied him. A few months passed and I was just about to move schools. I didn’t want to cry but inside I was like dying. I waved my last goodbye to him and my friends. I found out I was moving to a french school. I felt like a quiet kid there. Until i met k… she showed me lots of interesting things, the bad part is she was a bully. We bullied other people for days and days, months and months. After 1/2 years of our good relationship, I had to move schools again. It felt like that time for me and s. Its like haunting me. I turned 8 and had an amazing birthday. Then… my dad would yell, yell and yell. For stupud things. Like he would say “hey you dropped something you better pick it up!” and he would hit us. My mom ordered something about children’s ade? At first when my mom told me “you won’t be seeing daddy for a few years.” i was so sad to hear it. Well, I didn’t like my dad. But I just felt so worried. A few days passed and I heard that we will only see him on Saturdays and Sundays for 2-5 hours. Then two months later we started doing week on. Week off. And my dad got a house. So did my mom. Then I discovered video games. At first I played roblox for 1 year and loved it. I was so obsessed. I tried online dating for a day and. I felt comfortable… they were my age and i saw their faces, and we video chatted. I met this guy D and K online. We hung out for days and months but S came. We were such a good friend group. We would always laugh and talk. I introduced them to my online bf B. B meant everything to me but then, I started avoiding D K And S for B.… Then I went offline for 3 days. I found out my boyfriend who meant everything to me, who I would share my feelings with, cheated On me with 2 other girls. I quit roblox and started to develop depression. I would always think about running away and everynight i would cry to myself thinking I’m so worthless. My first day of my new school I saw all the pretty girls and all the cool guys, I thought I didn’t fit in. Then I got a new best friend C. I realized that I shouldn’t be sad in school. So I faked my happiness and went on with my school life. I started to have a new crush on a guy named M. He was also my best friend. Found out he liked me. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I thought “ we are young but i can’t say no” so i said yes. He would come to my house and we would play video games together. But, I found out… he liked someone online. I cried for days at 1-6 Am. i felt more depressed as it came close to the end of the year where almost every boy liked my best friend c. I hated her for so long and when the school year ended. I moved school once again. I turned 9 in fourth grade at my new school. I was so quiet I didn’t want anyone to be my friend I thought… if someone would be my friend they would use me or leave… so i would sit at my desk drawing sad or funky looking pictures. Everyone knew me as a quiet girl. I always went home trying to hide my face from all the tears. And then I came 10 in fifth grade. I still had depression and new people were in my new class and i didnt know anybody well. I would always wear a sweater, ponytail and jaggy pants. I didn’t feel comfortable showing my legs, hair or arms because my parents would shout at me cause i’m too skinny and my hair is a mess. They would always scream at me for that. And my teachers thought I was the quiet sad girl. I thought they were right to think that and then COVID-19 happened. I was so scared to hear it was so deadly… then I also discovered fortnite. It was such a popular game and I would play 24/7. I met my first online friend and we would share everything with each other. Whenever I would cry he would too. He was also going through tough stuff like his brother died from a heart attack. We would share personal information and it didn’t bother us. Then I met so many people that I would feel comfortable speaking too. I didn’t feel alone, I felt safe. Well i found out i was bi when i met this one girl. But my depression slowly went down but still there. I mean yeah I still online dated A few guys or girls. I knew that videogames were where I felt home. And found out my twin brother online dates to and playes the same games i do. That’s it. That’s my story