Dedication: to an amazing little girl that suffered so much in the hands of three mentally ill individuals who had power over her and she was strong enough to protect me for decades so that I can live the life I have lived. it is time for me to honor her for what she did- my younger self Lili
my sharing is a story of showing the incredible strength of a young girl who just wanted to live…. and has
escaped horrific abuse and brutality as a an 18 year old and built myself from scratch. yeah, this is true, I left it behind in all aspects when I left the house that tortured me and left me with 17 years of blackness. As an adult I never thought about the abuses more than for a minute. I couldn’t, there are no words to describe what I dealt with and what six others dealt with.
I was raised in the guise of religion. where women are 3rd class citizens, if even that, and girls are considered disposable. the latter was me. I don’t remember a before my abuses, I don’t remember narratives, I just have concrete stories of my 17th year, the year I call the “awakening.” it was the year I remember things vividly and I remember the abuses clearly. that is the year that I prepared myself for the escape and that’s what I did.
three decades later, 2022, dealing with physical symptoms I decided to connect my symptoms with the abuses I dealt the first 17 years of my life. the connections have been very painful, but I know I must deal with it and know that I have the structure around me to survive feeling what I have never allowed myself to feel.
that’s it for now……