My horrible experience and in the present

So I am a young pre – teen just about twelve years of age and I have experienced negative feelings and things got to do with parents , depression and anxiety. So my parents are very strict and overprotective and they both come from a strict culture with certain misconceptions . Now where my depression starts is the rules in the culture , I have no freedom , no friends . I could have friends if I want but my parents say ‘oh you shouldn’t make those kinda friends , I don’t like them , they spoil you‘ well I can manage this and I am looking forward to independently handle situations but they always budge in , and make the situation bigger. I have become socially awkward and have no friends . I am very scared on my dad because he is an overprotective guy . In public he goes like you’re precious I can’t let you go there and it was so embarrassing. I can’t even go out alone , I don’t have a permanent phone like my own personal one and I become sneaky , I created an Instagram account and they found out but I faked it , it wasn’t me and make excuses . I knew it was the wrong thing to do but yeah . Until date , If I never had an Instagram account I would be so extremely depressed . And my parents always shout and scream at me and blame me . They are kind angels with my sister and it’s unfair , I’m getting thoughts like escaping out of the house and horrible thoughts , if my parents stop being so strict , I’ll stop wasting my time thinking about my depression and I may develop a better personality and become independent . Because of their strictness too , I’ve lost my ambitions . My dream was to become a gymnast and they denied sending me to classes because of the clothing, I was the one who did all of the searching up for the classes, until today , they’ve never sent me to a club yet . And when after school clubs became obligatory , i couldn’t believe they had to choose it for me. It’s hard to live in this . And my house , a total mess. I live with my grandparents and their room just looks total different . First priorities go on them and not me . My dad will not buy a new house or a villa because of them , it’s their choice and I feel their doing this on purpose and they want to watch how terrible I suffer. I have no skills , no motivation and don’t have the courage to ask them, all brothers and sisters of the Muslim ummah and everyone else , please pray for me . I could thank you a billion.