Dedication: My dad
Trigger warning: Before reading this post, please be aware that it contains references to childhood molestation and rape.
Hello all I would like to introduce myself, my name is Traci Weir aka Trae or trace as far back as I can remember I have nothing but bad things happen to me in life. Those are the cards that I was dealt I suppose. At the age of 4 when kindergarten first began for me we had to rearrange the classroom and this boy in my class shoved his desk on my left hand causing my pinky finger to get broken. Never healing the right way and never to go straight again. My mom not being very knowledgeable of school rules etc at the time didn’t pursue a lawsuit against the elementary school I was attending. Later learning how to ride a bike with no training wheels at 4 and a finger splint on from childhood friend whom I may not talk to every day. however, still are my friend to this day. Her parents actually still live in the same neighborhood all my life later. Lol. Anyways later on when i was 9 yrs old my mom trusted her friends friend with us children and he molested me causing me to have mental disabilities and being classified as emotionally disturbed. Whatever that means so needless to say I started going to therepy for what had happend to me at such a young age..my innocence was taken then. After this one of my aunt’s wanted me to move with them and idk y I just didn’t want to bc I knew they were a little more stricter than my maternal grandmothers house. So I stayed with my mom and grandma. I loved my grandma for the woman she was and helped me become. She inspired me through life even though it was through spriit mostly. She is my gaurdian angel one of them anyway. My grandma was the sweetest most loving kind person u could have ever met. Anyways I lost my grandma during an incarceration and had to grieve without my family and loved ones. I held resentment towards some of my family for keeping me in the dark 3 months prior to my grandma’s passing away they just stopped writing. I’ll never understand why. maybe they didn’t want me to lose my mind. I’ll never know. Anyways back to the years before incarceration. So needless to say by 12 I had lost my virginity willingly to a boy the same age as me. By 13 I was liking females and later found out that I secretly always loved them.more then men. I was out in the open with my first real relationship at 15. However the girl I experienced the first things ever with never came out nor did she ever so it with any other female to this day I still love her bc she helped me embrace the me I am today. The one that doesn’t care what others have to say nor care what they think when it comes to my sexual Orientation. Now I am a full on lesbian, the one that isn’t scared of who they are, the one that isn’t a victim and is a survivor of sorts. At the age of 13 we (my siblings and I) got taken away from my mom for child neglect reasons it seemed like it was a long time coming for past and present at the time. My mother rather have ran around the streets with her female friends than her boyfriend’s lol. My grandmother was getting too old.to.chase us and take care of us so they took us away well I went to non secure detention for juvenile deliquent bc of being on probabtion for school related problems at the time. Thereafter moved in with one of my aunt’s while.my brothers were with one and my sister with another. During the time of living with this aunt her boyfriend rapes me til I’m 15 bc I recanted on the truth prior just after getting there and telling then being told I would have to go back in the system I recanted and took back what I said however it was the truth all along. Later telling again when I was 15 and getting out of that situation by going into foster care and later moving back in with my maternal grandmother and mom only if I were on house arrest during this time I met my soon to be future girlfriend whom would be the first women I ever loved. Later in life we would grow to dislike each other for our own selfish reasons. Anywho we were together for quit a while then she and I broke up she started dating guys again and doing.too much. So we lost touch for a little bit…there’s more yet to come to be continued…