Cutting changes you

Trigger warning: Before reading this post, please be aware that it contains details of self-harm.

My story isn’t as bad as the other stories on here, and God bless those women for being so strong.I wanted to tell my story to spread awareness and maybe understanding of self harm and show people that you can beat it, specially those in their teens.
My childhood was great, loving parents and family. When I was about 8 when I realised my sister was in a abusive relationship with a drug addict. He changed her, she had his kid but lost custody due to being a addict herself, I got used to seeing my mum cry, making up stories when people ask how my sister was, having not seen her for years, meeting up with her at shopping centres and overhearing triple 0 ,police and hospital calls.I started self harming in year 9. I hid it well, joking and smiling constantly. I felt like I deserved this pain for things I said, things I did, things I never did… it distracted me but mostly after while it became a habit and a reaction. I lost all motivation and happiness, every time something bad happened I knew how to “feel better”. And no matter how often I “tried to stop”… I never really was trying. I started looking in the mirror and being disgusted, purging meals, ect. I feel like there’s hundreds of people out there at are like me, and if your one then I wish you luck in over coming it. Late year 10 I finally realised cutting was fucking Up my life and stopped. Obviously it wasn’t that easy. I relapsed, had panic attacks and the urges still came but now the only thing on my legs are scars. I’m not gonna lie, I freely admit I still sometimes want to cut but I refuse to fall back into that habit. Everyday that voice would tell me “it’s your fault” “ do it” “ugly pig”. To all you guys who SH I can’t promise you that if u stop that voice will stop but it gets quieter and its easier to ignore. As for advice on giving up, distract yourself. There is no better way trust me. Talking to ur friends, hot showers, reading others peoples story’s even, it helps if u can distract yourself for long enough. I get that a lotta people don’t want to stop cutting, it’s addicting. But cutting changes you, even if the people around you don’t notice those scars will never completely fade, specially the longer you keep making them. as for people who have quit but might feel like their going to relapse, the 5 minutes of relief isn’t worth it. Trust me.

Anyway, no matter who’s reading this, good luck, I hope todays your day and just remember that for every moment your down, you’ll be happy soon, it’s just a matter of actions and time.