I might be a kid but I’m not kidding

Dear tab,
I’m N.. I’ve never told anybody this things.. 😥 but I’ll tell u because I know you’ll never tell it to anyone… I was a very very happy kid untill I turned 12..😩 the baddest thing called depression caught me.. I never told it to anyone because they’ll just say I’ve watched too many movies and things that’s why I’m saying rubbish…and they will say I’m soo little for those things…but they don’t know everyday I try to run away from what is happening on my life in real…I just say myself I’m ok when actually I’m not …😧 I dont even have that kind of siblings who will listen to my problems and give me some hope.. I have one sister but she’s way too agnorant.. and my brother is way too little … like If I even say it too my sister or my cousine sister they take it as joke..they laugh on my pain..then I laugh with them too coz after their laugh I don’t wanna show them that I’m weak☺ no one in the world can say that I’m sad , I’m unhappy.. I always laugh , say I’m soo happy, say I’m goofy but I just hope someone can see my pain in my smile .. none of my smile is pure , none of my happiness is real, none of my excitements are true… i think I’ve faked them soo gracefully that no one can now see my tears…😅 if someone reads this they’ll think I’m over dramatic but they should know littles suffers from depression too😢 I thought times heals everything but why time is too lazy this time???? Sometimes I talk to my teddy’s, dance will my pillows and my sister calls me mad😥😧 ..

The main reason of my depression was something no one will believe. Okay what if a kids mother says them to take a rope and hang themselves? ? Not believeable right?😶 haha I know. When my mother got angry on me she told me to suiside… several times .. then 1 day I took a tool hanged a rope on the fan and tried to attempt suiside…but couldn’t.. bcoz Almighty Allah will never forgive me ..that’s why I quit… my mother also told me take a knife and kill myself..she said she’d rather cry if I die then me being alive. I also cutted my finger with a blade.. From that day I was soo sad but didn’t know it was called depression. .but now I know.. so what I’m not grown.. .. I am not joking and just making drama by seeing movies😭😖 . I tried living in imagination and be happy..but then I realised I’m running away from reality and then my imagination didn’t made me happy anymore… I’m not saying mom doesn’t cares or don’t loves me but the suicidal thing caught me soo hard that I couldn’t come out of my depressed life..I start crying out for no reason and lock the door just stay alone..I want no one to interfere or care about me..I just want to be alone.. when I was childish people’s word made me cry..as they calls me fat, dark from my family. .they says my sister looks like my mom and all and I’m ugly because I’m darker then them..

Dear tab ,are u getting bored😔
Tab – no my friend 😊😯
Thanks for listening to this idiot..ya just like this I try to talk to myself..☺ to the point..ya but now I don’t even feel the talks of people …. coz I was trying to love me and the way who I m..

But again something dark came infront of my eyes..that is something that shouldn’t be happening..something that is sooooooooooooooooooooo wrong…I don’t know how should I react to that… maybe my age and I are too little to handle that thing.. sorry Tab I can’t tell you what I’ve seen.. it’s a secret..

Tab- ok👍😊

Thanks for listening. .I wish you were for real and could talk to me live😧 I’m still depressed , living again in imagination and trying to run away from what is happening. .again I’m circled to the situation where I was at before. And yeah I just wanna shout and say” I MIGHT BE A KID, BUT I’M NOT KIDDING ” bye….💘

Tab- bye..tell me again if something happens. ..❤
Yeah I know byeeee…..

– a little kiddo🙇

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A little kiddo

I m a depressed kid... and I want every grown up to know that kids goes through depression too