Let’s start with the beginning of this relationship so you can get a little back story! I met him when he was a month fresh out of jail. I know red flag right. But I knew him a few years before that and we never really talked. It started out as a fling, just sexual but he said it was only me and when I am giving myself to someone I only and sleeping with that person. We got official after about 9 months. A couple months later i got pregnant, we were living in my apartment he stayed at with me until moved out together. Our problems started back then when I got pregnant, we were living in a town house a little out of the city about 20 min away from where we are from. He would always be on his phone I would be upstairs he would be downstairs. I was “jealous” of him looking at thirst traps on Instagram. Social media has always been a problem in our relationship. He has lied about having a whole Facebook when I didn’t have one. I would show him his lies in his face and he would lie more like oh I didn’t make it my brother did. Called his brother and everything to lie. BIG RED FLAG I know.. anyway as you can see it’s not social medias fault it’s what you do with it. People would be telling me things about him talking to other females and fucking and having a whole other life and he would lie straight in my face about it. He would tell me he’s not doing anything they are just friends, I’m the only one he wants and desire and lust over… BLAH BLAH BLAH!! And the whole time he’s fucking me and multiple other girls 🤢 I know it’s disgusting! Well I didn’t know about ALLLLL of that until after he got locked up again. He got arrested on the day of my 2 daughters birthday party. They were 2 and 3 Turning 3 & 4. At this point we had been living separate for 8 months, so we were not together and he justifies that for what he was doing. So that’s whole time he was putting in my head that we were trying to make it work so he can move back in and be together. All while he was living his own life having unprotected sex with 2 other females that I know of. One of them claimed she was pregnant. I was living with a roommate at the time and she was about to move out. He use to give me money for rent and help out so with her moving I knew I couldn’t afford to live there any more. I felt like I lost everything, I screamed and cried I didn’t eat I lost so much weight. So someone reached out who heard about what happen. His cousin offered me to move with her out of state and she would help me out. I did, after about 5 months I worked hard to get a car and a place to live w my kids. I made it my priority still to pay for jail calls, write letters basically be there while he’s in there. He would tell me how sorry he is and how he wants to be with me, he made me his futon the phone so I wouldn’t do anything while he was in there. I also moved back and lived in a basement apartment with a family member just to go take the kids to visit him all the time…So he’s doing all this and lying saying he don’t talk to those girls anymore and one of them was posting on Facebook about how she misses him SMH ….. i know I know I know I seem stupid, I was really believing him over anything, love really is blind… it seems so sincere and he would even get mad at me for very mad or not trusting him. Huge red flag I know… now that I am older I wish I could’ve seen it… well let’s fast forward, the weekend he got released we moved out of state together. I had saved enough money to pay for the move, gas and for our place for a couple months. I had a job set up and was taking care of everything. He would be looking for a job but he would pitty himself and say no one is going to hire a felon. One day after about 5 months I stopped feeling sorry for him because he was not really get your there and effectively looking for a job he would apply here and there but not call and follow up. I would try to help him with everything but sometimes he just doesn’t like to take advice. Okay so we lived in a trailer home for about 2 years before we both got our credit up and bought a house together. I got pregnant with my third daughter the year we bought a house.. I don’t know why but we started having problems again, I know I’m hormonal and I know I had postpartum depression.it was small problems like regular fights but they would blow up and he would lash out and hit stuff I would always be crying….. It was very toxic.. I feel like I wouldn’t want ti have sex because I was so angry at the way he treated me and it would take a while for me to shake it off because I was so hurt… Me not having sex with him as often as I should have, made him despise me and push him away. I would have this feeling of unworthyness if I said no or I didn’t want to because he would leave or back off and leave me completely alone… so this past summer o stoooed working, we talked about how it would benefit the kids and be better if I stay at home. Well he was overly stressed worked day and night all through the night, he said he was sleeping in his car. His only nights off on Saturday he would go to the casino and bars, he changed his passcode out of no where and when I asked to look in the phone he got so mad at me. I started to think things by his behavior towards me. He would get so angry if I accused him of anything and not trusting him…. I was crying and investigating to see what I can find out… I know I know that’s way toooo much… it came to a point where we broke up… mind you all of this happens but after the fight he’s the sweetest and be loving on me and telling me how much he loves me. We continue to have sex here and there, he says maybe if we get back together he will let me see the phone smh whatever bro!!! Here we are 5 months later and I found out about 2 girls he has been “talking” to so far, supposedly the first one was from back home that he met a met at a bar and wasn’t “his cup of tea” and now this other one I found out about this weekend is supposedly a girl from New Jersey that is just his friend he had conversations with and he says there’s nothing wrong with that. No there’s nothing wrong if he wasn’t lying to me telling me straight in my face he’s not talking to anyone, has no interest in trying to get to know anyone, he’s tellling me he’s trying to work his way back in with me, I’m the only one he wants BLAH BLAH BLAH…. I KNOWWW it sounds familiar huh! I feel like my body is reliving the trauma of the past. He could be having a whole other life right now. He swears up and down he’s not doing anything. He still trying to touch up on me and I cringe with every touch… I forgot to mention in the past I got tested after I found out about what he was doing and found out I cought a std from him. So now I’m siting here planning a trip to the doctor because I can’t believe a word coming out this man’s mouth. I am also planning on moving out with my girls, he would rather sell this house then have me have it… his words.. anyway I just needed to vent and moving forward I need to get my shit together, get this money up and continue to live life as a SINGLE WOMAN!!!!!