Gin and Juice

Dedication: to all who need it

Trigger warning: Before reading this post, please be aware that it contains references to rape.

He could do anything, nobody would blame him.
As the night grew stronger on my 18th Birthday, my mind shifted. I guess that was the price to pay for having one too many. I know at first I didn’t mind.
The morning still blurry, trying to stitch up the night, I started crying as my hands slipped down the naked skin of my body, that felt unknown. I guessed that it was rape, and after procrastinating long enough, I decided to give him a piece of my mind. Later I felt ashamed for accusing him for something he denied and even apologised to him.
I never talked about it after, but I want to state my state of consent to that relationship, to what had happened to me, to what I think must have been rape.
I was told going home I was passed out, I was told going home, I could still answer but not in my right mind. This is enough for something like this to be considered as rape.
If anyone at this point still has more doubts, I can tell them to shut off.
There would even be one more fact stating in favour of rape.
In the morning as I slipped down my fingers down my now naked body, and I felt so torn apart. I also found that I had defecated on myself.
Sucked dry of all I had left. Defenceless of what happened. Ashamed so I kept quiet!
As I woke up, I rushed to the shower, he laughed and we together put everything in the wash. Everything just washed away, as I still now stay in reminiscence of what had happened to me that day.
And for them tomorrow never came because they struggled with their present. Their present of not being what they wanted to be and trying to improve on, what for me in them never existed.
They became someone else, as I forever stuck, am losing my mind,
body already lost.