Caged

I don’t know if this can fit under the category “inspiring” this is more of a “your not alone” kind of story. My main point of sharing my feelings/life is to let other females (in some cases males) know that what their going through someone out there, in this giant earth we call “home” is going through the same thing. You are not alone. Now your getting a VIP access into my mind and soul. Somewhere not many people have visited and those who have, never came out. If the world knew the things that go through my head on a daily basis, the world would be in tears. I am 15 years old i’m turning 16 in October, today is March 10, 2018. This “depression” (not sure if i can call it that) has been going on for 5 years now. How i made it into 2018? I do not know. My entire life..well since i was 13 has been filled with nothing but confusion..depression..sadness..and just hatred. I miss the little 6 year old me who got along with her older brothers..who looked forward to everyday..who could hold both her mother and father’s hand with joy, and most importantly who had a clean page to her name. I am sitting on a bathroom floor typing all this out, i’m supposed to be washing it but just yesterday i think my life has finally hit the very last pot hole in the road. I am officially done. You ever been labeled as something by your parents like for example (a thief,lire,disgrace,shame,mistake,devil,Satan’s spawn/decedent or your gonna like this one..useless) in my case all of the above. Well i guess what i’m getting to with all that is with me..when i get torn down with words like that i always like to hold on to something. like for instance i’d tell myself. At least they don’t see me as a prostitute,a drug addict,a slut and so on. Because i’m not any of those. I’m a virgin for god sake! Now i can’t even tell myself that (i’m still a virgin/as innocent as ever.) just my Father no longer thinks that, you see he’s not your typical Dad..what is a typical dad? Let me correct myself he’s not my dad (emotionally) technically DNA wise he is. Now ill finish this story some other time..till then.

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A lost soul