You don’t like him don’t wait for your gut to scream at you until it turns you inside out.
When it inevitably does because you’ll do what you want regardless. Make sure you examine those insights. Convincing yourself to feel something is not fair to love anyone and fighting to be loved is not fair to love yourself. You can be everything everywhere all at once you don’t have to squeeze your big self into one small niche. You are not too much and maybe you are but in a radical sort of way. Own your too muchness like the Academy Award you’re so convinced you need. Stop apologizing for being so sparkly you are meant for miraculous magnificent, marvellous things it’s not selfish to BELIEVE that.

I have standards and I think we live in a world right now where men always confuse standards with high maintenance. It’s not the same thing. I am not ashamed to say I require XY and Z in order for you to be with me. Don’t mistake my words for me asking a man to be perfect but there is a standard that must be kept non-negotiables BELIEVE it or not it will save you loads of preventable stress so I’m willing to wait until someone finds joy in giving me the world. I know it’s hard to BELIEVE but I am neither lonely nor jealous since I haven’t seen them having something that I actually want. How will I know when I am really in love? It will feel warm. His presence will comfort me like having my favourite cup of tea by a fire. Oh, how I love tea! Like a blanket. It will be cosy. It will be safe. Most importantly – how will I know if it is from God? It will be an easy love without confusion and God knows I am ready for easy.

Growing up I use to BELIEVE that a woman should have a seat at the table. We should be invited to sit at the table yet, most of the time the invitation was not received I want to tell you if you’ve never received an invitation. Create your own table. A table with peace. And trust me when I say this peace did not come easy. I’ve had my fair share of chaos because I wanted to sit with peace I had to excuse chaos from the table. Even if it meant I was alone at this table.

Oh, and I’ve observed that people hate confident people, and it bothers me! I am selective. In every way… about everything. Just because I think I am HER and love myself does not mean I think I am better than everyone else. You should think that about yourself too and BELIEVE it. People having access to you is a privilege you better BELIEVE that, and you better carry yourself like that!

Most importantly: BELIEVE that you are loved no matter how you feel.

Photo credit: Image provided by the storyteller.

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Megan Kilowan