Dedication: My daughter-in-law Tasia
My awareness about my greatness came in stages due to the fact that that I was carrying a lot of baggage right up until the point of a near-death experience in 1990. I survived a motor vehicle accident that left me paralyzed and for the first year I just felt as if I couldn’t accomplish anything. My thoughts were only that my life was over, I’m going through a divorce and I have a child to raise with no idea how I’m going to accomplish any of what I just said. Finally more positive thoughts began to come. “Let’s go back to college” I thought, which is where I met my current husband because he was my tutor.
College life was going well when I became pregnant and that’s when I found myself right back into feeling I was a failure, not because I was pregnant but because I didn’t complete College. After marrying my husband, helping him to raise blended family, I thought I wasn’t good enough as a wife and mother. It took 17 years for me realize that I didn’t need a being or deity or an organization outside of myself to really be a good person. When people say say that reading is fundamental it is very true. I began to read this one particular author that allowed me to think for myself. Unfortunately this particular denomination frowned upon literature other than the Bible and their own bible-based literature. Finally I began to understand why after trying 8 different denominations that I didn’t fit into the church Circle; that I was perfectly okay just the way I am, the way I think the things that I do, as long as they weren’t hurting anyone else including myself.
Another layer of discovering that I was a dynamic person was realizing just because I was paralyzed and could not walk didn’t mean that I couldn’t still accomplish great things. After helping my husband to raise our blended family, I home schooled our youngest son for 14 years. I cannot honestly say that I would have wanted to do that if I were walking. Today I have completed two levels of Reiki training I am a registered minister in the state of Ohio. I am completing my PhD in metaphysical science and I am a certified laughter Yoga leader. These accomplishments help me to appreciate that I can do Dynamic things in spite of physical limitations.
One of the most insightful layers happened to me when my hair fell out do to the side effects of an adult acne medication. Slowly, as my hair grew I realized that I didn’t need to put chemicals in my hair to change the appearance of my hair any longer. Never would I tell anyone what is best for their hair, but for me wearing my hair in its natural state has helped to close the door to all of the negative voices that told me that I wasn’t good enough.
A spiritual side of my coming to understand that I was a dynamic being happened for me and is still happening when I began to practice gratitude. I realized through this practice that many of the things that I condemned as an awful experience, in truth through the eyes of gratitude, aided me in self-growth. Part of the story that I always told myself that I was terrible because I grew up as a foster child and that everyone that grew up with their mother and father or any family member was somehow better. Truthfully all of my basic needs we met. I had a roof over my head, I never slept out of doors, always had plenty to eat that I can remember; the only thing was that I moved around a lot and not every home was filled with nice, kind, wonderful people, but I usually left those situations or experiences rather quickly.
I hope that my story will inspire women to see themselves in the most positive light regardless of what is happening or whatever they may have experienced. Your lineage, your parents, community and even your education is not who you are in reality. In reality you are a perfect expression of light and love that you need to remember at every waking moment never compared to another because there is only one beautiful you.