Dedication: To my Late Father .
My father’s suicide was the single most painful event in my life. I was 18 when he left. I’m 22 years old today. But the would stays as fresh as the first day I had to say good bye to him. For years I’ve kept how my father passed away as a secret . Because the society we live in would haunt us for the rest of over lives. I wish it wasn’t . I was never ready for it , but they say You do not have to be ready in the first place. You just have to let things happen the way it should. Live by the pain because you are human and it’s okay. It’s okay to go through the process of mourning. It’s okay not to be ready for it. It’s okay not to be able to shield yourself from the pain of losing someone because that’s the way of life. Although you can never go against it, you can learn to cope with it. I was scared with each passing day that I was slowly forgetting his voice in my head. That familiar voice , was no long familiar anymore. I hated the world for not guiding my dad to help himself out of it. I was also mad at myself because maybe I wasn’t there when he needed me the most. I always thought pain was visible . But he was suffering all the while and I never really saw his pain. Today after 3 years I’ve finally started getting help for myself, after 3 years I figured I needed help and it was time I live for myself. I don’t have my father anymore . But I have myself. I’ve gotten strength to hold my head straight and face my fears. Because I deserve it . We all deserve happiness. We all deserve peace , even if it requires extra help and effort, we deserve it. I’m on my journey to become the best of myself. And I owe it to my beloved Father .