the middle point in life.

My story is not so much of a story yet, because i am still living. But for the day i pass into darkness, here is my story so far. I am 16 years old, as of yesterday. ive had a lot of trauma throught the 16 years. Im still underdevoleped and inmature in ways, but i would say that my past experences in life taught me to be a very wise and humble soul. I grew up with fighting alcoholic parents, Ive been sexually assulated, abused; mentally and phsically, ive lost people close to me, and i my self have done some pretty awful things. At the same time as all of the bad things in my life, i have to be optimistic and say ive had some pretty wonderful and euphoric moments in life, maybe even miracles. but right now in my life i cant tell if im chosing the right path or just fucking myself at the end of the road. Either way, i am chosing to drop out of highschool and get my diploma early. Everybody struggles with school, i understand that, although it is not going to stop me from making this choice in my life. I beileve it is the right thing to do for myself and my mental stability. i believe myself to be very talanted and creative in ways that schools dont incourage. im not sure what exactly i want to do with my life quite yet and i think that is okay. im going to be a kid/teenager while i can before i have to put all my dedication in a full time job for the rest of my life. I have a boyfriend, he is 18, i have a very strong connection with this man, but im not sure it will last forever. As much as i say it will, i know that my intentions for life are far higher than a full time husband and kids. when i look at myself in 10+ years, i do NOT see myself settle down in a house i can barely afford with a man that barely treats me right. im still young and men come and go, and maybe i will find someone that i am confident i want to be with for the rest of my days. but untill then i want to be something more that a mother. something more that an employ, something more then a good friend or a good coworker. im not sure what it is yet, but im going to be extrodenary. something no one has seen before. and all i can do now to get where i want to be is reach as high as i can in life, grab everything off the top shelf, no matter the conciquences.