Dedication: everyone I've been hiding it from
My life so far..
Being without a father for over 7 years, for many people they know what it feels.. and it dose not feel good there’s so many questions assumption’s and its terrible. My story is difficult to explain and complex but here it is.
Since a little girl I’ve always wondered where is my real dad i have one older brother and 2 half sisters, when i was 7 my brother became very closed off and almost miserable although he didn’t show it; he didn’t answer texts, send gifts, call to say thanks for gifts. he only contacted if he needed something luckily after he moved away to start his own life he found a fantastic lovely kind girl friend that looks after him when we cant. There was never ever a mention of my dad and there has been multiple excuses for it, you never asked, i was protecting you, be grateful. my mum would always blame stuff on me and yell at me when something little happened or not answer when i ask a question and get mad when i never talk, And i was grateful however i needed to know and it felt very uncomfortable for me to confront my mum about it after all this time, i had never ever asked about where my dad is or anything to anyone. I began to grief the situation a lot, quit sports, lost friends and sleep, it was just all down hill and when i cracked in an argument about it i could barely breath, i was hyperventilating i had lost my breath it was like i finally escaped. i soon later got in contact with my nana which lived near my brother(coincidence) there was so much crying that day it was the best worst day of my life. after that i kept crying and was still extremely upset and my mum didn’t understand any of how i was feeling(I’m a Pisces) because i had found that none of my family on my dads side actually talks to him because of what he has done, cheating, d-ugs, and out of control. not to me but to my family, he has bipolar but who knows if he’s better I’ve only called him once a few weeks ago and he explained how sorry he was to everyone and how he cant go back to us because that’s the consciences. I also apparently have another sister somewhere that was and is probably going through the same stuff as me right now. i guess the moral of the story is, you don’t know till you know so believe in god, ask your love out, go on dates, do jumps on bikes, eat cookie doh. JUST LIVE YOUR LIFE!!! and find out about your dad if you want that even if you don’t wanna live or be in contact with him. just live life with no regrets.
Psa; i know everyone says it but telling your story/ reaching out feels amazing afterwards maybe not straight away for some people but it will. And i know this is so unlikely but if your out there and see this “chealsea”( my sister) please please know i love you so much.