I had wrote Soldier of Hope a while ago. I had given my life to Jesus and he had radically changed my life for the better but I still struggled with depression, selfharm, and suicide. It wasn’t that I didn’t have meaning or hope. Sometimes life was just too painful to deal with.
I come back with a crazy cool story of healing and restoration.
Last July, I was put on antidepressants. Apparently it wasn’t the right kind or dosage because it caused highs and severe lows. On one of those lows, I overdosed on them, ending up in the hospital. That was a wake up call for my parents and myself- that I needed more help and we had family issues to deal with. They began going to counseling with me and eventually our relationship was restored more than ever before. I had joined a Christian AA group as well as continuing counseling. My psychologist kept telling me I could learn to cope but people don’t get healed from these disorders I was diagnosed with. I knew in my heart that Jesus told me He would heal me. I just didn’t know when. I held to that. I learned that there was somethings I had to do though. I had to forgive people who hurt me do what they did would no longer control me. I had to renew my mind. As we renew our mind and think about good things, it scientifically changes the shape of our brains back to the original design after trauma has created physical holes in it. As I began to do these things, my physical brain started to feel heathier, I felt lighter, not always as if something might push me over the edge. Today, I am healed by God from depression, I am med-free, I am free from selfharm and suicidal thoughts, and I have never been happier. It has been a wild journey but I am so thankful to God for being there with me every step of the way and delivering me from a lifestyle of depression and death.