she won’t love me

Dedication: Emily my perfect girl

i did everything for her, all she couldn’t give her from her ex, undivided attention, constant compliments, pda, cuddles, no arguments, talk to her, make her my priority. that’s all she wanted. i did nothing but provide that and it just wasn’t enough. i tried to make it work and hold on. i’d still give her all of those things if she asked. she just doesn’t want it. i think it’s because she has never had it before, a relationship where she benefits so much from. and she only benefits so much because i have mental issues and am completely obsessed with her to a point she’s the only thing i can think about. but it just wasn’t enough for her or was too much. i don’t know what to do. i can’t get her back and if she changes her mind she won’t come back, i’m insane and she knows. i have to live this life i don’t want. i can’t end it it will just hurt people. i feel like a failure for not going through with it. but if i did it and someone still lived id be guilty. because i’m just so damn impulsive.