Dedication: To my crush
Why I’m so obsessed with her?
WHO IS SHE?
So here I’m going to talking about a girl, with whom I am so obsessed . I just think
after my parent she is the one who is giving me inspiration to be perfect in life
and to pursue towards my dream. She is too adorable after seeing her any shakt
launda has to be melt. And I’m one of them…..she has beautiful eyes but she
always puts her specs on. But those specs increased her beauty twice.
HOW I MET HER
MID 2016, Ok let’s get started from the beginning , it was the time of after 12th
exams vacations… one of my closest friend tell me about his girlfriend(she).She
was our classmate in class 5th
. Firstly I denied to know her then I remember that
she is the girl with whom I (we) share the bus. She used to sit on 2nd or 3rd seat and
I was trying to cover the seat just behind her …I have huge crush on her but being
a shy guy and introvert I didn’t tell her.. And of course I was not that much
famous that I got attention from her ……
When my friend tell about his girlfriend (she).I send her friend request on
facebook as soon as I can. Then I started to talk with her randomly like other boys
like simple hi, hello, kaise ho aap n all. I didn’t know whether she know me or not
but she talking I mean chatting nicely…
SAW HER FIRST TIME
As I said it was the time of vacations we created a fb group we means 2-3 friends
of mine, she and a other girl.. So one day we decided to join a English Speaking
classes. Next day I went there in ordinary black t-shirt and blue jeans. It was the
time when I finally see her after more than 8 years. I have reached little bit early
there and started waiting for my friend . I saw a girl with specs and waievy hairs
with her friend. I said her hi but she ignored and forwarded her steps towards the
When the class was over my friend introduced with her and she introduced with
her friends to us. It was my first time when I met a unknown girl(s) I mean a girl(s)
whom I didn’t know closely just say that much beautiful girl(s).My hand got shiver
when I was shaking hands with her.
After some days she shifted into other batch but on request of his boyfriend she
joined the same batch. In between I got her whatsapp number and I texted her
good morning with roses daily as she said to me that she loves red roses. One day
I arranged a red rose from my nearby gardener and I gave it to her boyfriend to
give her. I arranged flowers 2-3 times to give her I mean to her boyfriend.
One day I went with my friend (her bf) to meet her after the coaching. I totally flat
on her when I see her there anyone can be flat at that time.But being an
introvert, ugly face guy I never ever said to her that I like her ..
One day she came to coaching in pink suit. In that attire she is looking damn
pretty. After some days she left the coaching and but we continuously talking on
whatsapp or fb …and also I left the coaching and joined another coaching for
I think we chatted too much. Literally my day started with sending her good
morning message with flowers mainly with roses. Sometimes we chatted till 2
a.m. Frankly speaking it was become my habit to chat with her. If she didn’t come
online for a day I became like a desperate lover… I know she has nothing about
me but kya kare yeh dil hai ki manta hi nhi tha ……….
May be on October 1st, 2016 when I was returning from my aunt’s home I saw a
girl in blue suit (may be that she wear on his first intagram post) with the bag on
which there was a two cute rabbits jumping as she walking . I guessed that she ismy friend’s gf then I opened my phone and messeged her and my guess was right.
And she said me to meet with her but I denied one or two times. As I become like
a TEXTROVERT and by nature I am shy, I don’t want to meet but I went to meet
with her. Again I’m shivring to shake hands with her. I think give her a toffee like a
On 6th October, 2016 Her birthday I wished her. I think she would invite me for her
birthday party but no she didn’t invite me , I become lil bit sad about it but I
satisfied my heart by saying that ‘bhai tu lagta kya hai uska’.. May be on 11th or
12th October on bharat milap mela, I was at my aunt’s home. On chat I asked her
can we meet? Just for a pending birthday party. I was thinking she denied to meet
but no she agreed for a meeting. I don’t know what was she thinking at that time
but ya I’m too excited to meet with her ‘mann mai laddoo phut rahe the’. I think
that excitement was obvious because for a ugly looking guy meeting with his
crush (friend) it is become like a dream which come true.
I was ready to meet with her in white shirt and faded jeans (Here I want to say
sorry to her because I am not able to arrange a gift for her at that time).She
messaged me that she reached that point where we decided to met. I was late by
4-5 min to reach there. When I reached there I get stunned on seeing her. She is
in red checked top and black jeans with specs onn which increases her beauty
twice. So we started walking and we went to the MELA then we went to a ice
cream shop and I ordered two cornettos without asking her. It shows that how
desperate I was at that time. We took 2-3 photos there which was worst photos
of mine and here I am 100% sure that she was definitely deleted that photos
because I was also deleted that photos as I see. After that we went to eat pani
puri which she loves most and I hate most then we ate momos that was too spicy.
After that we said bye to each other and I requested her to drop her to home but
she denied.. I don’t know what type of image I made on her mind at that day I
want to know (if she reads this) but it is my memorable evening of my life. One
thing I forget to tell about her that she is so self respected girl as she pays all the
amount of snacks which we eat at evening. As a boy I always trying to pay butevery time she forced me not to pay .. And I am die hard fan of this quality of her ….
MY FIRST MISTAKE
My exams are near so to focus on my studies I logged of on whatsapp, fb etc . My
exams was on 18 December, 2016 and I told her to wish me good luck before
some wee . On 17th she send me ‘best of luck’ message and that message is like a
golden words for me. I passed that examination with high marks. ‘HER WISHES
On 30th December, I did the biggest mistake of my life I told her about my feelings
with getting know that she is in relationship. I know I did wrong at that time but
telling about feelings is wrong ??? and she blocked me . First time I’m getting
blocked by her without reason . Actually she blocked me oftenly but for some
reasones like to hide from her mom, her boyfriend. I like her one more activity
that she save boys numbers in her phonebook with girls name..
NEW YEAR STARTED 2017
After getting blocked by her I could not wish her HAPPY NEW YEAR.. after some
days she unblock me and I said her sorry and my happy wala new year started
from here ..
On 5th march,2017 (may be ) I got the chance to again met her . Actually that day
was her parents wedding anniversary I think.. she said that she is bringing pasta
for me.. I am getting to excited for some yummy pasta. But my excitement all
goes in vien…. She didn’t bring pasta. But actually I am too happy atleast she
come to meet me(ugly guy). That day again she waited for me in Sunlight.
We went to a small restraunt near her school in which she reads when she was
kid. We ordered only two cokes and talking about foolish things. I don’t knowwhat happen to me when I am in front of her my all senses become closed. She
like momos too much but that day she forbade to eat it because she little bit
upset. She had a breakup with her boyfriend.
15-20 minutes meeting made my day . I bought two chocolates for her she
deneing to take but I made a excuse that it is not for her it is for her mom..
She made me a promise to met again after some days with a promise. but I don’t
know it was our last meeting after this I will be gonna see her only on instagram
posts and stories.
BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE
Mid April 2017 biggest tragedy of my life happened, everything is going good in
our friendship.. her boyfriend breaked up with her and all blaims are upon me.
She knew that I never talked about her relationship in our conversations but her
boyfriend always doubting on me that I provoking her to not to be in relationship
My biggest mistake in that scene is that I tell about her relationship to her
brother. Actually I don’t want to do at that time but what can I do I have so much
stress because her boyfriend said me not talk to her and I m do the same but he
doesn’t believe in me … know I don’t talk about this but after this scene I blocked
After that scene she blocked me and I got depressed for no reason . I do many
wrong activities with her which I should not to do. I made fake calls, fake
messages to her, make fake ID to irritate her. After some days there is a rumour
that I shared her number to a guy. I want to clear this matter here that I want a
revenge from her but not in that way I know that guy but I never share her or any
girl numbers like this to any random person.BAD DAYS BEGINS
I do many efforts to talk to her but all goes in vein. Some days in November my
next exams are begins I give exams but at that time without her wish ……
In January my results was out I got failed first time in history. I think it was the
magic of her wish that I got passed in first exam and get failed in my second
Then I again tried to talk to her but my efforts are not hard to make space in her
phone again …. And in my mind there is a thought that I have to take a revenge
I again started my studies to pursue next exams in May. My studies are going well
with everyday thinking about her. Exams comes and I got so sick on my exam day.
I had to admit in hospital. Again all my efforts are fruitless, I have to skip my
exams. Again I think it is the magic of her wish that I got pass in my first exams
and not able to getting pass the other stages of exams.
After this I got so depressed, I am always thinking about her and losing hope to
pass my further exams. I want to get rid of her thinking but I don’t know what the
fcuk happen to me I m not able to think about her. I always thinking about how to
talk to her or met her . I am so frustrated of my life. NEW MOTIVATION
In June 2018, I got a chance to visit some cities like Delhi,Chandigarh,Amristasr
and I read some books in journeys I want to mention here some books ‘Can a boy
and a girl be a best friend’ and ‘never kiss your best friend’ both are by Sumrit
Shahi . In between journeys and reading books I got to know that my thought was
wrong that I have to take revenge from her.
After this I got so many positive vibes and I took her on the position of inspiration
and again start my studies to clear stages for exams. 6th October, 2018 on herbirthday I attempt many ideas to wish her but failed in all . I said one of her friend
to wish her from my side but I don’t know she did or not..
In November, I give my exams again after exams I read too many books but then a
thought to talk to her again arises .
NEW YEAR WITH NEW HOPES
In first week of January when I was travelling to Allahabad, I got amazing surprise
that she unblocks me from instagram and I send her request and she accepts. I am
so happy to talk with her after more than 1.5 years . For some days I only saw her
stories and liked all her past posts . After some days I send her a letter to start a
new friendship.She accepts it but I think she don’t have any interests to talk with
me again I send her message many times, she replied but not in that way as she
replies previously I think . We know that friendship is like a two way road . Both
have to talk each other but I think in this it’s like a one way traffic in which I want
to talk so much but she isn’t . So I stop texting him last time we talk about
’buttering’ . I want to letting her know that we do buttering when I need
something materialstic from others. I need nothing from her I just need…..
On Feb 08, My results are out and I got failed again just from 3 marks .
As this shows that how positive she is that just from presence of her in my life I
improve myself and again I want to repeat that line that it was is the magic of her
wish that I got passed in my first exams and not able to clear further stages.
Today is 11th feb I sending this to her if this touches her in any way please reply. I
want to say her I don’t know what type of tragedy is this and I don’t know what
you do after doing this again block me may be . but I just want to say that please
at least wish me a luck whenever I go for a good work. I want to stop thinking
about her but I don’t know why to break friendship from others is easy for me
but stop thinking about you is not easy for me. Also I don’t know whether she is in
relationship or not . I request her not with this anyone if she reach there to read .Iwish I would meet her one day because after march,2017 I only see her pics and
never saw her in real even not in accidental situation….
Someone says ‘when you have same interests in life , you can make good
friendship ‘ (not correctly know this line) . According to this line we have some
same things like we share the same starting letters of our names , same birth
month and even your mom share with us, we share the same birth days, we share
the same field in studies and many more. I’m just writing this to removing my
frustration because I just read that If anyone wants to remove his frustration just
write something about ones whom you thinking of most. I want to tell her that
please keep updating your story everyday or at least within two days it gives
motivation to guys like me to becoming good …..
By that ugly guy…….