How I survived bullying and anxiety

When I was a little kid, my mom would always tell me that I had the most amazing attitude that could cheer anyone up. I was always smiling and making jokes to keep my classmates laughing. That all changed when my mom told me that we had to move to another country for my father’s job. We moved to China where my father’s work is located and they enrolled me into an international private school where most the rich or middle class foreigners go to school. I am fully Chinese, but my family decided not to sent me to public school because a private one could get be a better education and because I spend most of my life in America, my Chinese was not that good. The first couple of years was okay, but things started to get worse when I was entering middle school. My mom got sick. We had no idea what illness she had until a few years ago, but her illness was getting worse and worse by the day. She would have seizures or wake up screaming in the middle of the night. My dad would skip work in order to take care of her or I would sometimes have to skip school to do it. Before all this happened, I had made a new group of friends with people who were 3-5 years older than me. We would do stuff that was dangerous and partying and I would sometimes come home at 2AM. Once they even got me drunk without my consent. After I had the responsibility to take care my mom, I decided to leave the friend group which was a terrible decision. My old friends started to bully me. They would secretly take photos of me and take about how disgusting I look. I remember one time all my old friends told me I looked pregnant because my chest was bigger than theirs and kept asking me who the father was. I confronted them one day in the bathroom and they got violent. I started to fight back, but three people pinned me down and one of them started punching my stomach. I was left there crying, I was 11. After this, I told my parents that I needed to switch schools; they didn’t really understand why, but they agreed. I transferred to another private school and was getting a fresh start, or so I thought. I was heavily influenced by what happened to me and it led me to have social anxiety and depression. No one wanted to talk to me in this new school and I was starting to have suicidal thoughts. Until I met this guy who was a few years older than me. He and I quickly became friends and he was always so nice and positive towards everyone. I started to fall for him and we began to date. However, I didn’t realize how toxic our relationship was until a few years later. He and I were on and off for 3 years, and during that time he would always complain about the way I looked and my behavior. He would constantly insult me, cheated on me multiple times, and try to touch me when we were alone. One day we were alone at his house in which he was trying to touch me again, I said I wasn’t ready and that I felt uncomfortable. He kept insisting and I kept denying. He got so mad at me, then he dumped me. A girl in my class called me on the phone and asked if I was okay, and I told her everything. I wish I didn’t because she was secretly recording me with another device and sent it to a private group chat with all my classmates. From that point, every boy passing me would call me easy or a slut and every girl next to me wanted to change seats. I never felt so alone and broken. Years have past and I’m glad to say that I’m no longer in that school anymore. I told my parents I wanted to go back to America alone to finish my education. I am now almost done with high school and have amazing friends who have supported me throughout my process of getting over my past. Of course it still affects me till this day, but I think every thing happens for a reason. This experience has only made me have thicker skin and know how to deal with bullies like the ones in my past. I hope my story can help people realize that they’re not alone if they’re being bullied and if they feel down, just remember there’s a good life ahead of you even after all this bullying.