Hopeful sad girl

Dedication: Myself

I have a very sad story to share.please don’t cry or feel sorry for me after reading this.I am not angry or sad with anyone,I just wanna ask god ..why did you do this to me,what had I done to suffer so much.

So here is my story.i am a simple,introvert girl (or you can say woman).. I won’t hide my age here ..I am 33 year old ,unmarried.I don’t want to marry even,until I start earning myself.my mother wants me to marry to some poor man where I will live like a typical housewife..cooking 3 times a day washing utensils,clothes as happens to every other married girl in India (who are not doing any job).i can’t imagine this future for me,even a slight thought of this scares me.I don’t even know whether I will find a suitable groom at this age or I will find someone with defects.I don’t care,my first priority..doing job ..earning .

In August 2018 ,I lost my father..since then my problem started.After 1 month of my father’s death,my mother made me sign some property documents in which it was written that I don’t have a right in this property from now onwards..and I willingly transfer my share of right to my younger sister.I had to sign it looking at my angry mother’s face..she could have started hitting me there itself had I denied signing it☹️.so from that day ..my mother stealthily,and hurriedly transferred all property which was in her name( my father had all his properties on my mother’s name) to my sister.I was left with nothing to call mine.

I couldn’t come to know about it because I was undergoing some training in other city.After 1 year,when I came back home..slowly I got to know about this all…due to COVID-19 my training shut down for almost 1 year (so I had to sit at home preparing for exams) .and during those period when I was home ..I have got to realise how much my mother hates me…she doesn’t want to see me.she doesn’t want me to eat home cooked food(sometime she wouldn’t cook for me and sometime she eats earlier than me leaving me with little vegetables to feed on) .i live like a poor in my own house where I had grown up like a daughter.now I am a servant of my own house,I cook daily..3 times..so that my mother doesn’t feel difficultly…but she doesn’t sees this ,she thinks me as a servant..treats like one,like the way you talk to your servant.sometimes whenever I y anger bursts out on all this behaviour..I ask her ,Mummy have you ever thought about me also..I Am also your daughter..what is my future..you have left nothing for me ..to this she replies ..yes get married and go to your own house..you are already having everything..(eating food,etc)..when I say this is my right..is that also a problem for you..she says go to your house.leave my house.

Nowadays she is(sister also) earning more than a middle class person.but I am still treated same way..even my sister is rude to me ,calling herself king,facing me with her feet….if sister makes tea she won’t want to give tea to me..I am being given mental tortures everyday….even my mother used to beat me aSo ..but when I couldn’t take it anymore,I said I will record this video and show it to everyone…after that she stopped beating…but abuses come my way always(like fuck and all..she says gritting her teeth fuck and all once she said you have grown old ..your private parts hair will also grey).she also makes my fun with her sister over phone while I cook for her..and laughs for hours..previously I used to feel very bad about this..but now I ignore and don’t cry..I have promised myself I won’t cry and will work harder..but you see emotions are there..it makes me cry(still feel like crying).

So this is my story..this is the way I suffer mentally by my mother.sister and brother.several times I have tried to commit suicide by hanging (thinking that nothing will change ever and I will always suffer like this) ,but then I stop thinking that what if I don’t die and just suffer some other problem due to hanging and also hoping that maybe god gets kind and changes my future.since 1 year am suffering all this..but I have kept hope alive in me that someday I will earn myself and then I will start getting richer..more than my mother and sister.
Whosoever is reading my story please suggest me where I am wrong and what should I do..I hope someone replies 😊

Thank you for reading my sad sad story.