Dedication: To an evil monster rot in hell To the police, you didnt help me yet i am still standing And to to my therpist and school for helping me in my journey to cope.
Trigger warning: Before reading this post, please be aware that it contains descriptions of childhood rape and sexual assault.
Why am i writing this? Maybe because i am tired of sitting in my room crying over what YOU (dad) did to me. I am still a scar in its healing process. I am trying to let go its hard to know that your still out there on the streets of London but here is a poam to tell you EXACTLY how i feel.
I was born into the world without consent
Now in the hands of two people who are supposed to be my parents
Love me, protect me, be here for me
You stole that right away dad the day you decided to lay your hands on the person you bought into the world.
What did i do to you? Was it my fault i wanted to be loved by you so bad?
The day i sat next to you and your hands touched my vagina i was confused l didnt know any different i was nine,
Your smile on your happy face told me it all,
You was happy thats all that mattered to me,
But the more force you put, the more scared i got
So i ran upatairs hopeing you wouldnt follow me
BUT YOU DID WAS THAT HOW DESPERATE YOU WAS TO HURT ME?
first to get the younger two out the next room
Then to my room.
You removed your clothes one by one
Laid next to me, and did what your twisted mind asked you to do.
Soon i realised that i was praying to GOD to make you touch me on my naked body insted.
Because you laying over me naked over my naked body hurt more then that.
I NOW KNOW ITS CALLED SEX
I WAS RAPED BY MY OWN FATHER WHERE IS YOUR SHAME GONE?
Who i loved more then anyone in the world
That carried on till 11
Why DAD WHY? WAS I THAT BAD?
after every time you raped me
Even in ramadan when doing those things wasnt allowed
I wished you told me you love me
Because thats all i wanted from you
YOU GOT PLEASURE OUT OF IT I GOT NOTHING BUT ENDLESS PAIN AND SWEARS.
Mum, was a victim too of your horrendus abuse she lost her 16 years of being married to you, physically abused,mentally abused, sexually abused and financially abused WHAT IS LEFT FOR YOU TO DO?
Under the same roof but unaware of your actions you did she was a caged bird waiting go be opend,
When i took the courage to say
I got told lack of evidence
Bought me down to the ground
But i am making myslef into a survivor not a vicitm
Not letting you affect me,
DAD WHY DO I STILL CALL YOU DAD?
GIVE YOU RESPECT AND POWER TO LET YOU CONTROL MY MIND?
I am just 14 years old i got my whole life ahead of me
You dont have the right to take my education away from me too.
you are evil.
GOODBYE EVIL MONSTER ROT IN HELL