I have no idea how to feel because I had loved him so much. César was my first love my first everything. I gave him all my love and kindness. I’m scared of falling in love with someone and getting hurt again. César became aggressive with my, so he started to beat my up. He would take out his anger with me, and he would punch me like a boxing bag. I was afraid when he would get home from work. One day my nana saw my thigh which was all purple cause he would kick me everytime when he didn’t like something, or if I did something wrong. He was very controlling towards me I was not allowed to have a phone.
I had been living all my life in the United States, until I decided to go visit my parents in Mexico. We were a happy family and I loved spending time with my brothers. I would ditch a lot my classes, so that is why my parents made decision to take me out of school. Since I didn’t have anything to do, I started to work to help my parents with expenses. I worked as the dispatch of a taxi company near my house. I would work for only 6 hours during which I only made about 10 dollars a day. I had so many responsibilities and had to help the friend which also worked with me. We would cook for the employees once per month, including us. There were 20 mouths to feed and get everything ready in two hours. I loved working there because I had my best friend with me;Maybe, we are still good friends, even though we are far apart now. My parents would let me go out with her everywhere or just go chill where I worked. My life was great spending time with my family after so long. Now I realize that my parents wanted the best for me. I am so grateful for having them with me.
One day we went downtown to hangout with some other friends. From this day on my life started to change. We met some guys and went to dinner with them.Since I wasn’t allowed to date, I would lie to my parents. His name was César, he was just right for me. César was the cutest guy I ever met. He had a charming voice and smile that I had ever seen. He tried so hard to see me happy every time I was sad. He would do anything for me and that was the reason I fell for him so hard. César loved me so much he didn’t care about anything. We both felt something when we met. César and I started to go out every weekend without my parents knowing. One day he went to my worked and surprised me with some beautiful roses. I had to hide them from my parents so I put them in my bag.
César was kind, caring and loving with me. I knew I was safe with him and that he was the guy I was waiting for. On October 3rd he asked me to date him. I was really excited and said yes. This day I would never forget because he also had to get the approval of my parents. He was so scared he couldn’t speak when my parents came out. But he managed himself and told them that he wanted their permission to date their daughter. My dad at first was mad, but he knew his little girl was growing and that another man would want her on his side. My dad said that is was fine and accepted, mostly because César had asked permission.
On february 8th César and I decided that we wanted to be together forever. So I ran away with him to his aunt’s house.We never got married because we were still to young. César and I had plans of getting married when he turned 18. Also a week after it would be my birthday. We only had to be 18 and 16 to get married. Our plans had to be waiting for the right time. I was really scared, but I wanted to be with him the rest of my life. Matiana and Juan were very mad at him and tried to take me back to my house and drop me off. They were his parents and he was the oldest son of 4. Matiana was a very controlling with everyone. She was my mother in-law and I respected that. Even though she treated me as if I was a big slut. César didn’t let them tell me something, he told them that he knew what he wanted. César wanted me by his side for the rest of his life and have a life with me. I also wanted that.
One week after I ran away with him, we had to go say sorry to my parents. It was going to be a small party. But we both had big families so the party it got big. We said sorry to my parents and my parents had forgiven me. César was happy to have his woman with him everyday. He would show me how much he loved me everyday by giving my a rose or kissing me on my forehead. I was so happy at his side. But that happinest lasted a month.
Matiana and Juan decided to get him locked up. I have no idea how they got away with it. We were just fine and happy about living together. In so many ways we always showed how much we loved each other. They made me go back to my parents. He was locked up two months. Those two months I was waiting for him when he got out. In that time I was allowed to see him once. I felt horrible because he was locked up and his parents told the police to not let me go see him. Finally César got out two weeks after we got back together without our parents knowing. Our love was strong well that’s what I thought.
But he had changed so much in those two months. He was aggressive and mean, and he forced me to do things when I didn’t want to. He began beating me up and I was thinking that was normal. One day we went to a my cousin’s quinceañera . I was dancing with one of my cousin and he got very jealous. César told me that we needed to go home. I was so drunk, so I managed myself to walk behind him. He knew why I got drunk. I found some messages on his phone with others girls. Even though I was living with him, he would keep on seeing other girls. He kept dating some girl while I was waiting for him at the house. On the street he started to hit me so much I fell on the sidewalk. We were home and so we went into our room and that’s when I notice he wasn’t finished hitting me.
César punched me with all his strength when I couldn’t defend myself. I was so drunk I couldn’t walk at all or fight back. So his uncles came into the room and took him off me. I was bleeding and swollen all over my face. One of his aunts help me change from my dress to my pj’s. That was really embarrassing for me so I wouldn’t go out of the room. My grandma lived a block away so I walked to her house. She couldn’t say anything to him, therefore my nana started to cry. My nana had no choice–she could not tell my parents without my consent.
On June 27 César told me we were going to my house. So I did my makeup so my parents wouldn’t be able to tell that César had beaten me up. It didn’t matter how hard I tried to hide it. My mom saw me with a black eye and called my dad. When my dad got home he called me into his room without César coming in. he told me, “You wanted Pendeja, now you hold on to your decision” So I was walked away from him. I told César we needed to leave the house. César was mad at my parents because they kicked me out of my aunt’s house. I was crying on the way to our house.
On July 1st I made a choice–I’d had enough of César beating me up, so I told him that I was leaving him because I didn’t want that to be the rest of my life. He kicked me on the sidewalk and some lady saw. This lady yelled “Muchacho no le pegues”. She also called the police and my parents were looking for me. The police took César to jail and my parents took me home. I lived with my parents for 20 days. In these 20 days I only saw César two times. The day come of me going to say bye to all those who helped me. July 21st I started my trip back to the U.S. I was so depressed because I missed him so much. This date is the last time I saw César. But I knew it was the right time for me to move on.
Now moving forward I have become a more serious woman almost an adult. If I graduate from high school, I’ll be the first one of my family to accomplish it. This is what motivates me everyday to make my parents proud. I want to be a good role model for my sister. I learned from this experience so many lessons. The most important lesson for me was that no matter how much love there is that person can still hurt you. Which comes out to be that I got mature enough to know what I want and what I need. I see everything in a different way, mostly because problems come and go. Eventually there is a solution for every problem not matter how hard it looks. It was hard at first but, know I am grateful to everyone that is helping me out. My advice for those girls who have a similar situation is to not be afraid to speak up. Whoever that person is, no matter how much you love them you should report it to the police. He will think he has power over you. Most importantly try to get help from family members or a professional adviser. Do not stay with the person who is physically hurting you. Please do anything to save your life. I was lucky to not be dead by the different ways he would hit me. There will be another chance waiting for you. Why? Because you will find the right person that will give you all his love. Another chance is a great opportunity to show everyone that your strong enough to move on. Everything is going to be okay–trust me.