Hope
What does the word hope mean? I guess I have a vague idea of the meaning. So, to be sure I decided to get the dictionary term.
This is how the googled version of the oxford dictionary defines the word “Hope”
• A feeling of expectation and desire for a particular thing to happen.
• A feeling of trust.
Okay, so it turns out I actually do understand the meaning. As I continued to read up on examples, I found the synonyms for the word hope, I realized that most of these words resides with me.
I have aspiration, desire, dreams, plans, longing and yearning, all these words are associated with hope.
So, this is how I defined the word ….” Daydreaming”, which is consider similar to the word “Hope”. I am a person that can literally withdraw from everyday stresses, just by Daydreaming, it’s my coping mechanism. Lol…. I daydream about almost anything, traveling, meeting new people, being an actress- literally everything, from joyful to sad moments that can put me into depression mode. Music too, contributes to my daydreaming and just listening to music for some reason gives me a feeling of expectations, once again a word that I associate with hope.
Besides hope being daydreaming, it has such a warm feeling. However, there are days the word just does not resonate with me and all of a sudden it smacks me right in the face, giving me a wake-up call again. Lol, I feel so bipolar, but I am sure someone out there can relate and probably articular and express their feelings about this word better, but I guess we would still be on the same page, just using a different color ink.
From a young age I had an expectation for things to happen, most of the time I was not sure what my expectations were and frankly I didn’t even know that it was consider as “Hope” but the feeling was there. I would have different scenarios play in my mind. My imagination skills even amazed me at times.
My daydreaming scenarios would have a fairytale atmosphere, I mean what child does not see things in a mystical way. However, I wasn’t the typical girl that would daydream about my wedding day. I was the one that would see myself meet all the frogs first and never saw Prince Charming. I guess that makes or made me a cynical person. The hope was there and also not there.
I had desires or I still do have desires, but some desires just vanished into thin air. I was very hard on myself. I had feelings of expecting things, but what I never realized, I had to step out of my safe zone. I had to learn to trust that it would happen. I had to realize that it was okay to daydream, it was okay to desire, have plans, longing and yearning for certain things such as a soulmate, my own little or big family. Even though all this resided within me, first I had to stop being cynical, trust and hold onto hope that all things will work out.
Now, I know that I am not describing in full detail, it’s all in a nut shell. I want to focus more on the spiritual side of the word “Hope” and how my perspective changed.
Hope has just been a word to me. Somedays the word meant so much and other days the word felt empty, like what is the point of this word. All I knew on the good days the word had made me feel so light inside, inspired and motivated. I could take on the world, there was light at the end of the tunnel.
The journey I am on now, I’m absolutely loving it. This journey has taken time, believe you me, it did not happen overnight. If you ask me, it has been worth all the storms, because this word “HOPE” has shown me, while I am in a storm there is a light house afar shining it’s light and this light guides me. All I had to do and must do is trust. I should keep my eyes on the Lord. The more I turned to God in my hopeless times, the more something within me spoke saying “take away the less from the word hopeless” this stirred my spirit to the point I fought with my thoughts. I literally, up to this day listen to motivational speakers – Christ base or positive base anything that feeds my spirit and gives me new hope on a daily basis – it has become a lifestyle. Now I tell you, my mind still beats my spirit at times, so I am working hard, very hard to maintain this thing, phase or feeling called Hope.
Getting closer to my Father, Lord Almighty, reading scriptures and fellowshipping has really changed my perspective and my expectations in life. I’m beginning to live life meaningfully and yearning HOPEFULLY.
I have come across a few scriptures that has or is helping me to live with hope and understanding the word more spiritually and in everyday context. I am slowly changing my character, thoughts and definitely trying to speak words of healing over my life and others with spiritual hope that all things will work out for the good.
Isaiah 40:31
“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint”
This scripture has made me cry so much one morning. I was in awe, wow like my father knows me, He sees and hears every silent cry. This particular morning, the month of February 2023 the word HOPE in the scripture together with the word strength hit me in the face, I felt so bad for doubting God, unworthy of his grace and mercy, but look at how amazing my ABBA is. I didn’t see him physically, nor did he shine a light or sent an angel to speak to me…. lol he probably knew it would freak me out and I would probably have fallen dead lol, the sense of human my father has at times. Well, he spoke to me using scriptures, now this was not a coincident. That morning I woke up just feeling tired from the weeks physical and mental tasks, that emotionally I was like….” God, I need you. I have fasted. Show me the way. I am tired. I want to give up etc.” and through scripture my Amazing Father spoke to me. I cried, to the point that I could not cry anymore and ended up pouring the rest of my tears into my journal. I had written so much in my journal before, but this morning my spirit I had this urge to draw. I saw this vision. I ended up googling a picture similar to the vision and ended up drawing open hands with a rosary and a dove. That was a sign that the spirit was with me and He was teaching me the meaning of HOPE, all I had to do is like really and when I say really, I mean TRUST the Lord with all my heart, mind and soul.
These are the other famous scriptures I came across and it has helped me on this journey, now me saying this – bear in mind, I’ve heard them before as I mentioned in my other writing pieces, but this time around I could and can literally hear the voice of God in the scriptures. I don’t just read them because of religion. I read it with renewed hope and faith. I read it because my spirit, which is the Spirit of my Pappa – Jesus Christ. I try my best to abide and do as he ask or leads me to. Even writing this, did not just happen, to be honest, I don’t like reading nor writing, but my spirit has brought me to this point.
“Hope” is commonly used to mean a wish: its strength is the strength of the person’s desire. But in the Bible hope is the confident expectation of what God has promised and its strength is in His faithfulness. – googled
Jeremiah 29:11
Psalm 62:5-6
Philippians 4:11-13
Romans 8:28
The above scriptures are just a few other scriptures, but I know that there will be more scriptures I will hear God’s voice, for now this is the manner that fills me and refreshes me when I am thirsty. The bible is my new dictionary.
#TheGirlintheDesert
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Photo credit: Image provided by the storyteller.