Welcoming sadness

Dedication: My fairy godmother

I am an adult child of a narcissistic mother. I was raised in a family that didn’t accept separateness or validate me as an individual. As a result, I’ve struggled to find my own voice and fully accept my worthiness. An incredibly emotionally generous mentor has helped me on this journey and been instrumental in helping me find self-compassion and self-love. However, my mother’s incessant presence in my life continued to threaten the progress I was making because of my strong conditioning to be subservient to her needs. I hit a stumbling block that I couldn’t move past.

Recent work with a therapist has helped identify the direction of my healing work. Transitioning from an anger of trying to convince my mother of my point of view. Toward a sadness in accepting that she is incapable of seeing my perspective and sympathizing when my actions aren’t aligned with her desires. She has taught me that anger is thinking you are capable of changing the situation. Sadness is acceptance.

I am growing to become my own mother. My own supporter, cheerleader and nurturer. But there is no happy-ending to this story. Because everyone deserves a mother that celebrates who they are – as separate and worthy.