Dedication: My family ❤️ The police officer that helped me and my bestfriend ❤️????????
Trigger warning: Before reading this post, please be aware that it contains details of childhood attempted suicide.
Hello, my name is C I am 13 years old currently (mom approved to share) I go trough sever depression and anxiety everyday wether it’s school/home/public. What I’m like at school is the “depressed girl” most of the time I keep my hood on bc it’s just away to hid kinda like getting away from things. Today I’m going to tell you my story…. Starting to 2 grade, I have lots of friends just the average girl that talks to a lot of people, has lots of friends gets good grades, later on in the school year I become worrying about my weight, myself aperince. I got heled back in 2 grade because of my speech ,I lost most of my friends I became emotional so I was uncomfortable all the time. I got bullied getting called names, cyberbullying. I Officially became depressed and ending up with anxiety. Moving on to 3/4 grade I had feelings like I was worthless, had no purpose anymore. The couple friends I did have I tried telling them how I felt but they said I was trying to get attention and so on…. so lost those friends I had…. moving on the heartbreaking 5th grade, so new school I’m 11 now making friends being happy agian but those feelings I had in the past all the things I kept jungled up inside me made me start wondering who I am anymore, what I should do in life. Thinking about life, “do I have pourpse here, is their a reason I’m here?” So I tried letting all that go since it was in the past well the thing is they keep reappearing in my head like something I telling me to do this and that. So later onto the 5th grade I started to open up to my family about my feelings. On March 20 2017 my 12 yr friend committed suicide bc of family reasons. 8 days later on March 28,2017 I’m 2 months Into being a 12yr, I’m still getting bullied at 1am I gathered the supplies to commit suicde I go into the bathroom I’m talking to my friend telling her what I’m about to do she trying to talk me out of it and stuff, I contacted the suicde hotline telling them what I was going to do and stuff. I put the rope around my neck and make it tighter and so I want to step off but I have some regrets and stuff but I do it anyways I step off when I stepped off the thing broke I was crying bc I wanted To just go i was ready! I told her that I did I stepped off and it broke and she said it’s okay and told me to go Laydown in my bed. So I did next thing I wake up to a 3 missed call at 3 am that was from a police officer he left a voicemail and he called agian a couple minutes later so I anwser I was scared, he asked me if I was ok and I said yeah I’m fine and he told me to go wake up my parents and skipping some part he came with his partner nd told my mom what happend he told my mom to take me to the hospital I the morning and he was talking to me about his brother bc his brother comited suicide. He told me that I was worth being here and I had purpose to Be here and stuff. Few hours later after being at the hospital I’m being sent off to a facility. I was inpatient care for a week and a saterday. Anyways now today March 22,2018 I’m still getting bullied yesterday one of Thebes people I knew told me that I was / emo,bitch,hoe,ugly,whore,slut,lesbian(I’m not) / they told me to go die. I’m the depressed girl I keep my hood on at school bc it’s my comfort and safe place to hid. Anyways ….. I’m a suicide survivor;
Remember to keep your head up and stay strong you have purpose to be here you deserve to be here your beyond beautiful and perfect just the way you are don’t let anyone change you! Your amazing and incredible! Your intelligent!!❤???????? Stay strong ???????? no matter how hard things get keep fighting it will get better I promise