Dedication: To All of the beautiful creatures of Earth.
Hello dear beautiful children of this planet,
Today, I wish to share my story with everyone and anyone that wants to listen. This was not an easy task for so many obvious reasons, but if it can help even one life then why not?
The title of the story is pretty straightforward and it is meant to be taken literally. Word for word, because that’s my reality and has been for over a decade. Finally, at the hour of 4:30AM on March 19th, 2020 I’d like to share something with the entire world that I have kept to myself for over a decade now. Considering all the mayhem taking place on this wonderful planet due to lack of peace, spirituality, and wisdom there may not be another better opportunity to pour out what has been occupied and a part of my life for so many years. I’m sure you are all wondering why the heck would anybody do such an absurd and downright outrageous task! Well, after 10 years here it goes:
It all started with my mother telling me a story of how I was an “accident baby,” and how they tried to perform a clinical abortion which somehow failed (mind you, this was in the early 90’s). As a child around the age of 4-5 years, this was very shocking, nor did I have a clue nor proper guidance to understand it better.
Somehow I managed to put that in the back of my mind and decided to become a studious child. That didn’t go too well. Why? Because everyday and every time I saw myself in the mirror or in a reflection, my disgust with the way my ears would flare out on the side of my head resembling the Disney movie’s character Dumbo just grew day by day. For those who are not aware, Dumbo is a flying elephant with these very big ears and is rather adorable. The elephant character might have been adorable to many, but “Dumbo” became a nickname for me at school and that’s when the severe bullying happened, which was far from adorable. That left many scars- emotional scars that would and still haunt me till this very day, clearly.
Years and years passed of being bullied severely to the point where it escalated to the point that I decided to take a stand up for myself. At the age of 12, scarred with years of bullying, completely disgusted with personal appearance, having very low self-esteem as well as self-confidence, I decided to finally stand up for myself against the bullies. It was 8th grade, recess time, everyone mingling in their groups, sharing laughs and foods whilst the young 12 year old me walked alongside my shadow organizing my binder that I had so much pride in due to the fact that I had no friends at all. School, books, my binder, and writing utensils were my only friends. Anyways, as I was organizing my binder my favorite bully came up to me, took out all of the papers from my binder and threw them in mid air just as how graduates toss their hats out of a celebratory tradition. Oh, while he was throwing my hardwork in the air like worthless pieces of trash, he made sure to call all sorts of names(Dumbo, ugly, loser etc.) Little did anyone know that I had had enough and decided to make a stand for myself the day prior when I found a hand knife on the curb. I told myself that I’d finally take a stand for myself after all these years; and I did. Well, the next day I got myself expelled by drawing my knife on the kid from because i couldn’t take it anymore. I was done with the flawed school system, abuse and lack of understanding at home, the bullying, and most of all- the way I looked.
It was started after that. After getting expelled from school, I thought of ways to pin my ears back since they were the main reason of me being bullied. For hours, I searched my entire house finally ending up with a Super-glue stick in my hand and a crazy idea that would change my entire life and body.
By now, you guys probably have a clue of what’s to come next. Yes, you guessed right. I started to Super-glue my ears back and never wore my hair up without covering at least half of my ear(even after Supergluing them). This went on even after I was sent to a boarding school, upon returning, throughout my teenage years, and shockingly into my adult years up to age 27. Along the way, I always felt sick but pushed thru because I couldn’t handle one more person calling me “Dumbo” or talking down on my ears. I wanted to look perfect, and I did for years. No one at all suspected that I was doing this. Once, I tried discussing it with my doctor whose answer was “just stop doing it, simple as that.” For me, it was much more difficult than that. My parents and family had no clue about this since I would sneak the glue sticks from drawers or purchase them with my allowance money. On top of it all, this was just so insane that I knew I couldn’t tell anyone after seeing my doctor’s reaction.
For years and years I’ve been suffering silently, not knowing what to do. Just being lost, feeling so insecure to the point I’ve started to lose my relationships with everyone, dreading life, and desperately seeking a way out of this.
After many hours of research on the net, I came across a solution called Otoplasty. This has been on my wishlist for as long as I can remember now. The only problem being that my parents hadn’t nor have clue that I Super-glue my ears, they cannot provide me with funds for it. Besides that, this is a problem I brought upon myself purely due to lack of Self-confidence. It had become an addiction and it still was until recently I started seeing lumps out of my arm and neck. This has me so terrified that I have now decided to share with someone, because I’m truly scared for my life. Going to the hospital is now my priority, but with the current pandemic going on it is a very risky task. Therefore, hopefully sharing this with the world will provide me with help, support, and love.
Being bullied feels terrible. It harms an individual’s ability to grow with confidence and the right kind of brain development, at least from personal standpoin. This must be stopped because there are so many wonderful little children whose learning process gets halted and disturbed without their parents ever knowing why or what happened. Many children, including my young self are not comfortable or afraid to speak to someone else due to the fear of being judged, condemned, and further abused.
This is my story. After almost 14 years of consistently Super-gluing my ears, I feel even more lonely, lost, and depressed with no solution and serious health problems. Please, read this and speak to your kids, nieces, nephews, grandkids, neighbors to let them know that it’s okay to talk about their problems. It’s okay to accept and be yourself. I am currently in a very unfortunate position, which I know I have brought upon myself, but if I can change even one child’s life with this then I know this was the right thing to do instead of suffering in silence.
My prayers and warm wishes goes out to all the victims and their families of the Coronavirus pandemic. May you all stay safe, happy, and filled with a warm heart. Along with that, en enormous THANK YOU to the medical staff across the globe tackling this thing. Thank you all and please take care of yourselves. Love yourself so you don’t end up suffering as I am now.
PEACE.