Dedication: I DEDICATE TO ALL PEOPLE WOMEN AND CHILDREN ALSO MENS
My journey was good when my mom was alive so, my mom past away in 2009 when I was 16years old. my mom past away and my mom family never love her, When she died they buried her. When they come from grave yard, my grandmother and my aunt call a meeting so that everyone who want a child she must take one of us, I was with my little sister and my brother. so one of my aunty chose me to go with her. so my sister and my brother I left them with my grandmother, that time when I left them to my grandmother I was not happy at all,because mom left a letter for my family that who want to take us must take us all together, because she want us to live together. My aunt chose me stay with her that time I was young. when I get there life was good they take me to school. And she was having three children yes indeed they were so small kids we play and stay together.
so life start to change, my aunt start to say food is very expensive, so I need to stop went at school eating her children food in the morning, I will eat in the afternoon, what so painful more is that in our school that time they were not cooking, which means at my school the is no feeding scheme that time. I went to school always without eating anything. so that time everything start to change they way I perform at school, I was fell sleepy and always tired because I was the only one who always clean the house.
one day my teachers ask what is my problem they take me to the staff room, one of teachers go with me outside were we could talk she did my teacher asking me. why I fell sleep in the class, I told my teacher that I don’t rest at all the time and I always came at school not eating anything. Sometimes I don’t even eat at afternoon, I don’t eat maybe I will eat at night. some other time my aunty will come at night drunk call me names say is not a charity case in her home.
so I always know that if she came home drunk she will shout, they way is shouting is not talking to her children, I was always know that everything he mentioning or what words he was saying pointed at me, those hurtfully words was pointed at me. I remember one day I woke up in the morning preparing to my self to go school. she said ”Zinhle I don’t want you to bath here in my house anymore ”she said I need you to go a baths from my sister houses. And she said also she was not the one who said I must come to stay with her, she have a children to look after,is her sister was choose me when we were at family meeting, so I listen to her I do what she said.
I went there with my clothes and my uniform, and I nock at the door, my aunt open a door my aunt was surprised why I came at early in the morning I told her, that her sister chase me away from her home. And my aunty say why? I told her that my aunty said that she is tired to look after me, and always when I woke up preparing to go to school am moving around and also I make her house dirty.
They way was happening was not good at all, because in that time in the past meeting,the first aunt that is chasing me away was the one who was chose me. but things start to change. My Aunty call a meeting for another day. they did talk in the meeting, they have a final decision they said that I need go back to my grandmother,End of the year. what was making me worried a lot is that I can’t even cope anymore because even there in my grandmother places, it a same condition where I was, we never live the good life, just I was experiencing pain, sorrow seeing my mom crying all the time her sister chase her away from our grandmother house saying hurtful words but the most of the time when she was alive was tell me that ”my child you can see how life is I need you to grow up and study hard so that you can look after me and your siblings.
I continues to live there to wait till End of the so that I can move back to my siblings, on march I fail my mathematics but I keep on pushing hard end of the year I pass. I went back from my grandmother staying with my siblings. One day my grandmother call me with my aunt they said I must look for the place to stay she don’t want us here because our mom died without not build us a home for us. now we give me problem I can’t support my self, waste my money to you,”zinhle you are old enough to look after for your brother and your sister.
Life was to tough I meet the women who was our neighbor she was struggle all so that women her name was Thoko she was the one was knowing my story, we decided to go to Emaplazini to work that time, I was sixteen years I work there because they were not asking ages. I started to change buying clothes for my sister and brother and food. but was not easy at all, I worked till the job close because was not a permanent job, was a seasonal work.
I went back at home,my grandmother was starting to love us as a family but things change.
I run away at home staying with my friends because I was suffering. And we went to look for another work because life was not easy as I was with friends I learn to sleep with men because I was wanting money, to look after my self. and I remember one thing is that I was started to drink alcohol going out party.
I even learn to stay with amen that older than me to be a fake wife in sixteern years old. I always never think that my life will change but one day I meet a lady, we just meet at the street that I don’t know we just talk the lady ask me why you are not at school I told her my story she did advice me, but I change in a men home staying with her loving me at the young age, he was a good men she give love and education I went back to school to study was not easy but very hard, Final I made it in life.
Photo credit: Image provided by the storyteller.