Dedication: Peter Ferrara
The brother of a dear girlfriend of mine met with an untimely death. He was very close to us in age. My girlfriend called me to let me know of this tragic moment in her life, she wanted to share, grieve, and be consoled. I was tongue-tied. I couldn’t believe that I was at a loss for words of comfort. The gut-wrenching feeling overwhelmed me after hearing the devastating news – I was blind-sided. Other than my personal family tragedies I had never felt this emptiness or even ringing in my ears.
That day I realized that when my friend needed me most, I fell short of support for her; I wasn’t there for her, instead I was too busy processing my own feelings. It sickened me. A few days later my girlfriend reached out to me and thanked me for the support I’d given her – I thought – WHAT? I was totally shocked. I knew I hadn’t said anything, hadn’t shared anything, hadn’t given her advice or comforting words, but yet she thanked me for my support and for my presence in her life.
The breakthrough: it dawned on me that words are one vehicle to communication-being an ear on the opposite end of a phone line is just as powerful. It is knowing that the bond between friends can never be measured in terms of how much advice, assistance, gifts or even fun you can physically bring to that relationship. It is measured, however, in the heart. Just being there for them to hold onto when their world around them is spinning out of control. This act can be more powerful and sustaining an act for them than you can ever imagine. And WOW! how powerful and valuable am I to know that I am a stabilizer in just being present.
I’m blessed to continue growing on this path called life and I thank you for this forum to share my breakthrough.
Be well and be present!