its all in the past

hi, i’m Lily and i have a problem or should i call it a trauma ?? All I can say is, my school days weren’t beautiful but they weren’t so bad .. maybe? While in kindergarten, I was bullied and ostracized until I had such a high fever that I once planned to quit, yet thanks to parental persuasion, I survived even though the days that passed felt so suffocating. I was too lonely when I was in kindergarten.

Just going up to primary school, I was treated unfairly by most of the teachers until I got a title that made me feel so inferior. At first, I just took it as a joke but over time I felt it became more extreme so that every time the club training was conducted, I was often ridiculed and scolded for no reasonable reason. Even people I trust, just closing my eyes makes me feel really sad, alone and depressed so much that my nose bleeds often. I am too tired to face the same atmosphere every day.

I once thought of suicide, but I told myself,

“Tomorrow will be better. Hold on a little longer.”

“If you give up, you won’t be able to eat your favorite fried chicken anymore …”

know, I’m thankful, I didn’t do it.

to this day, I am still trying to get out of my past because I am confident a bright future is waiting. as long as I don’t give up, I just need to be confident and move forward.

This story was originally submitted and published in Malay…