Unrealistic expectations are burdens we choose to carry or to leave behind. Some of those expectations are our own and some are rooted in what others want from us. We have experimented with setting and resetting boundaries. We have learned to say “no” more often. We can pause for a moment to celebrate our progress.
And yet…
Last week, I heard myself speak a sentence that began with the words “I should.” You can imagine that the rest of the sentence included a brief description of something I did not want to do. Why, I wondered, did I continue to should myself? No answer came to me but I vowed to notice every time the word should appeared in my thoughts or in what I said. It appeared frequently—a subtle self-judgement about how I was choosing to use my time. I don’t know why this surprised me, but it did.
I then noticed how often I heard others casually mention what they should do even though it was not what they wanted to do. If I was talking with a friend or member of my family who said they should so something, I asked, “Why should you?” The immediate response was usually this: “I just should.”
How do so many of us allow ourselves to be trapped in the land of should? Our reasons are as unique as we are. In exploring my own reasons, I recognize that it is time to let them go. Today, I am breaking out of should-land!
To those of you who have successfully escaped, I am cheering for you and hope that you will share your experiences with others. To those who are still planning their escape, I wish you success.
None of us belongs in the land of should.
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I also posted this piece at AwakeningYourTrueSelf.com