Dedication: If you're a Woman... you need to read this.
As of today, I decided that I’m tired of keeping quiet about my hardships.
I’ve became single recently, but in the most fucked up way. I was genuinely happy with our relationship & really believed that we would have a happily ever after. Our relationship was centered around honesty, trust & communication (so I thought). I visited his family up north, Northern California, where he lives now after getting out of the Marines. I loved making him happy, so I surprised him & took a flight up north. I was only there for 4 days, where on the 4th day, our entire relationship changed. As me, my ex bf, his mom, & her bf were hanging out at the lake all day, some friends of theirs also tagged along. I got to know them slightly & couldn’t see anything wrong with these people so far. As everybody, including myself, became more intoxicated, one of their friends came over & wanted to hangout with me. She began telling me a variety of things I had no idea about my ex’s family. One being that his mom was taking pills to get off of pills, where I had also heard from my ex’s mom that this lady, who had taken the time to pull me aside from everyone else, had stole some pills from their bathroom for herself to take. Mind you, I didn’t know ANY of what she was telling me about my ex’s family, a family which I cared for dearly. After a long day out on the lake, where everybody was drinking, we were on our way back to the house where I was staying with my ex & his family. When we came back to the truck, everybody was suddenly mad at me & I had no clue why. Well, I came to find out that their friend who had been telling me all about my ex’s family’s secrets had flipped the script & blamed me for talking shit about this family that I felt I was becoming closer to. I was blamed for all the things I had never said or even knew about this family I was hoping to call my own someday. Being in the backseat with my ex on our way back to their house, his moms bf was driving & suddenly pulled over on the side of the road & decided to put his hands on me, pulling my hair out, screaming & continuously calling me a bitch in my face. Multiple clumps of my hair was being ripped out of my scalp, even throughout the rest of that day.
While I was enduring this traumatic experience, my ex, who I thought was going to be my future husband, did not do a single thing to defend me.
His mom’s bf continued to punch my ex in the face also, where his own mother wouldn’t even defend him.
Once I was free, I did what I hadn’t done in the past when I was in this kind of situation… I RAN.
Luckily, two 17 year old boys were driving by & they were nice enough to give me a ride back to where I was staying with this family so I could grab my belongings & head back to So Cal.
Just like that, our relationship was over. Mind you, at the end of it all, these people had been more concerned about how I ruined a friendship that clearly wasn’t real from the beginning, rather than my own well being in a place where I had no idea where I was. They didn’t want to hear my side of the story because blaming an innocent person is much easier than owning their own problems to begin with.
THIS is the kind of shit that makes people suicidal.
THIS is the traumatic experience that has put me back into a depression I had once worked for 6 years trying to get myself out of.
THIS is where I draw the line & say enough is enough. I refuse to be anybody’s punching bag any longer.
I understand that I am not alone & unfortunately there are hundreds of thousands of girls out there who encounter the same incidences like these, as I have in my life. Before, I thought it was okay to just keep it all to myself & continue on with my life.
I am here now, realizing that if you simply try to ignore the damage rather than dealing with the issue at hand, it WILL continue to occur throughout your life again & again until you deal with what’s really happening mentally, emotionally & physically.
I don’t care who you are, where you came from or what you’re made of, it is never okay for a woman to just keep quiet about issues like such.
Without realizing, you could be creating a viscous cycle. God forbid, your kids could very well be in a similar situation as this someday.
Prevent that from happening… now.
It starts with you.
Do you want to make this world a better place? Stand up for your own peace and don’t you ever let anybody ruin your life because of something like this.
I hope that my message reaches other women out there who have experienced something similar to what I have. I’m hoping that they, too, will rise above such demeaning behavior from others.
Stay strong & stay positive.
Time heals all wounds.