Broken

For all those who are dependent on someone….I m going through tough times…a thousand times I have searched on how to get out of it…but yet I have not found any thing…We all in our life rely on someone… Be it parents your close friends..nd a lot more…I had completely relied on my friend..a close friend of mine…we were friends before it all messed up…It all started when I was in my college… A person stepped into my life…took eleven months to convince me…tried every trick to make me feel that he is the only one…but there was a problem for me in saying yes and cooperating …The reason being…I was going through tough times…family crisis… nd all… For me it was known to me that.. Once I will be in a relationship there will be lot of complications…emotional breakdown… Outbursts nd somehow it will be disturbing for me and the other person who will stay with me….I told him everything so that later on it will not turn into a mistake….so now… He was aware of everything nd we used to sit together ..in the college… We used to enjoy ..and most importantly we studied together to succeed …in the mean time…I developed feelings for him and I finally entered into a relationship with him….it was a good time together …we shared a strong bond nd we used to fight a lot…it was this fight that we started blaming each other…and somehow he told me we should stop…nd it was not that fight which ended up all… He told me…his family will not accept me nd I should move on…nd he will also move on…his words…”We should end here”….left me all alone….I cried for weeks… Months…Begged him… Saying that dont go…I will do something …if we will achieve something noone will stop us….just be with me… We will study.. We will succeed…he neglected every word of mine…he made me feel like We were never together…he ignored to the best he could do….But I was the one waiting he will call me…he will text me…he will come back and will tell me …alright..we will be together ..nd yes we will do something …I tried my best to make him understand that everything comes in time…how can he and his family be so predictable….he can he be so sure about future…but no I was wrong he didnt came back…I cried… I was depressed for one month….I didnot eat anything ……sleepless nights….empty stomach…trembling hands…but still I messaged him to convince him….still called him to hear his voice…still meet him to hug him…but he didnt understand the pain I was going through….what he did was …his late response …his ignorance …his rude replies ….his silence….I was left broken…My begging him to just stay with me…because I loved him.. We loved each other….nothing worked out… Nd on e day I felt like… He is getting disturbed ….I wanted to see him happy so I left him without telling him…..I hope he will be happy….
What I want to express is….how one could be so mean….I told him to stay with me because I m going through bad times nd he promised me to accompny me…so what I expected was he will be there for me….he denied nd told me…go find someone else…😊….he is moving on nd I should also…..but no…I got stuck into that….my every morning reminded me of his promise….his dreams he shared with me….his future plans…his days spending with me….my night ended with one thought… He will come back nd everything will be ok….but nothing happened ….today I m still into thoughts dreams ..he showed me…I m not able to move on….nd it is spoiling my mind my life my everything crucial thing
…we should never rely on someone….we should never expect… We should never trust someone…..this is all.. I m filled with….
Dont know… When I will be alright…