Broken but not Destroyed

Dedication: I would like to dedicate this to any woman or girl who has experienced racism and their innocence destroyed by sexual molestation and rape.

Trigger warning: Before reading this post, please be aware that it contains references to childhood rape and sexual abuse.

Why the rejection? why the hate? I am YOUR daughter and he’s YOUR son. Our mom was recently found alive through Ancestry DNA. Our mother abandoned us when I was 6 years old. My brother and I was left with our Dad who was bitter and angry as well as devastated. Unfortunately, our dad beat us, and physically and sexually abused us. Dad was evil, he attempted to sell me as a little girl to drug dealers for drugs. Dad taught me at an early age to hate men and women. I had no trust in anyway as i would be bounced around and used for drugs. i felt dirty, unworthy and ugly. I just remembered wanting to die in my sleep everyday to end my life. My brother would be beaten constantly and threatened with death by dad. I would wake up hearing my brother screaming from being beaten. our dad did so much to us and we both had to runaway from him to survive what little life we had. I tried to reach out to family and the uncles tried to rape me and some molested me. our grand mother was written a 14 page letter begging her to come and take me away from my dad because he was abusing me greatly; unfortunately grand ma told me to stay and forgive him but i needed to take care of dad. I could not stay as the older i was getting the worse the abuse was getting. Where was God in this? I had prayed for many years wondering where MOM was and why she left us with this monster called dad? We had many trials and struggles when we ran away from home. our choices in life was dim and dark. The one thing i continued to do was to pray and keep believing in my Jesus. it took me years to realize that Jesus was with me all along which is the reason why I’m still here after all that we went through. I am in the process of writing a book to share our stories of the hidden dark secrets in the family. so now fast forwarded to 2021 and a day before “mothers day”. Through ancestry dna, we found our mom, however, we only was able to speak with one Korean cousin of ours as she gave us very little information on our mom and said that she left us because her and the Korean family didn’t want to have anything to do with us because our dad was African American! seriously? You married him and had two biracial children and realized YOU ALL WERE RACIST? why the hate? where is the family bond? we did nothing wrong mom. I never heard my brother cry so hard in my life and he is 53 years old. My brother tears broke my heart. I still Love Jesus and i know that he will avenge us and he will make the situation right. I cannot live this life without God. I was homeless and broken, we had no-one to help us but we had God all along. I have so much to share but right now i just want to encourage any woman or girl who is battling with rejection, sexual assault, raped, beaten e.t.c… Please know that you are strong, You are beautiful and Let God lead you. Fall in love with Jesus! Jesus will never treat you wrong, infact Jesus will love you and be with you no matter what. I tried to commit suicide 3 separate times in my life because i was so broken, It was Jesus who held me in his arms and cried with me. I felt his love for me and he cleansed me from all the dirty deeds that had been done to me by man and woman. Please don’t give up! whoever you are, I LOVE YOU Baby Girl. You may be broken but you are NOT destroyed…. I will be publishing my book soon. God Bless each of you.

Photo credit: Image courtesy of the storyteller.

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Teresa Dixon

I am 49 years old. I have gone through many dark chapters in my life starting as early as 6years old. I have seen demons and demonic acts throughout my life. I serve God as I Love Jesus and allow his Holy Spirit to take this journey called life with me. I want to share my story to encourage so many precious souls who have gone through so much.