Dedication: Anonymous poster who saved my Life
Hi. I don’t like sharing my name or age, mostly because of my past, and how much people judge me. But I have mild ADHD, and I have to say, it sucks. You know how your thoughts are like a few people sitting in a room, ocassionally commenting. Well, mine are like a bouncy house full of crack addicts that never sleep.I get bullied for my hyperactivity, and it really took a toll on my self esteem. People make fun of my habit to chew on stuff, and space out constantly. People assume we’re retards who don’t care what people think, but we do. Especially when for 11 years you weren’t sure what the heck was wrong with you. At that age, you just assume it’s you’re fault. So I was spiraled down a never ending well of my own thoughts. You know what I said about the room of thoughts? That’s how dominant suicidal thoughts became . “Cut.” No øne cares” you’re Soo annoying” go die”. My 5th grade teacher made me do a group project… Alone! She despised me and acted like I was a retard. She purposely ignored the bullying, saying I was a result of bad parenting. That hit me hard. Was I really spoiled rotten. I still to this day feel queasy sharing my story.
One day it got so bad I cried my heart out on my closet floor. I was in trouble with my parents for the bad grade I got on the group project I did alone with less time cause I was in gifted. I turned my computer on and started on group chat, contemplating death.
Me:hi
Other people: Hi how was ur day
I was shocked someone cared. So I told them. Then one random guy
Him: No matter who you are, remember you are beautiful in your own way. It’s all relative. They might not like you, but their missing out on you. Your awesome never forget that*it was along the lines of this*
I felt so warm and fuzzy all of the sudden. Society isn’t doomed. I was glad that someone listenined, that someone cared. It warmed my heart and gave me hope.
I decided that ADHD made me quirky, and a perfect fit for the emo community. I embraced who I truly was. I listened to P!ATD, and found out Brendon had ADHD. With my love of music I found out who I aspire to be. Now I am still recovering, but we’ll, and I hope this helps someone like he helped me