A life of pain

Dedication: To all girls

Trigger warning: Before reading this post, please be aware that it contains a description of childhood rape.

This is a letter i wrote to the perpetrator, and to every girl who has went through what i went through. A letter explaining how girls and women from different parts of the world, of any race, of any age , etc feel, experience and fight against every single day.

9 years down the line I am ready to stand strong and firm for what I believe is right for myself and for every girl there is. I’m ready to be the voice of the voiceless, to be the light for the ones in the darkness. “Enough is Enough”

Dear Perpetrator

The 12th of April 2011 was when the start of my new life began. A life filled pain, denial, aggression and withdrawal began. You saw the tears of a crying child, you saw the pain of a troubled child, but you insisted.

Why would someone do that to another human being. Why would you do that to me. ‘Dont cry we just playing, I promise I wont hurt you.’ Your words still ring in my head every single day

I kept quiet. I told no one. I buried all the dirty secrets under the most prettiest smile. I let the darkness and painful memory eat me away while you roam.

Everytime I closed my eyes I saw you. Everytime I went to bed I saw you.

As I lived my life in denial of what you did to me and what you had planned to do with my life. I learnt to forget how to live and learnt how to hide the pain, burying it deep in me, for you have created a new me, a new monster.

But today, enough was enough. You may have taken my will to love and to be happy, but you can never take away my spirit to survive, to survive through the pain and tears, to survive through the nightmares and to survive another you.


To all the girls who have kept quiet with problems and pain, you not alone. Me and you are gonna get through this. We both are.

Story shared by...


Yes im Zenande, yes i am a victim and yes this my story. Im a 16year old battling with her past, with her pain and with everything thrown at me. Im starting up a YouTube channel trying to reach out to girls with problems from all different angles like me, mainly focusing on how we can get through depression, abuse of all sort and addiction