Dedication: To all the brave survivors of childhood sexual abuse.
Trigger warning: Before reading this post, please be aware that it contains references to childhood sexual abuse.
It often begins subtly, almost sweetly—the extra attention feels like a warm embrace that draws you in, making you feel cherished and unique. You revel in the connection, in the moments where the world fades away, and it’s just you two. Their genuine interest in your thoughts and dreams ignites a sense of belonging.
But then, in an unexpected flash, the first inappropriate touch shatters that comforting illusion—leaving you frozen in confusion. The initial hope lingers, whispering that perhaps it was just a momentary lapse. You cling to the belief that you can still retain that special bond and navigate this new terrain unscathed.
However, as time unfolds, the truth reveals itself—a harsh reality where those once cherished tender moments morph into something that darkens your spirit. With each violation, a piece of your self-worth slips away like sunlight fading into twilight. You realize that you are no longer that cherished girl but a secret keeper confined to the shadows, an ordinary soul ensnared in a web of silence.
You hide away inside, year after year, battling an internal storm that leaves you feeling withered and hollowed. Attempts to numb the pain—through substances, reckless decisions, or desperate escapes—only draw you deeper into isolation. The family who once professed their love begins to pull away, unable to truly see the dark truth of your struggle. You find yourself trapped in a paradox; the vibrant person they knew has been overshadowed by the turmoil inside, yet you remain voiceless, fearing disbelief and further isolation. Your only escape is to run away from it all.
Convinced your destined to loneliness, a few years later, a child enters your life. Upon their birth, an innocent spark of this new life in your care ignites a flicker of joy in your long ago fractured heart. Through your child’s eyes, you glimpse the purity and wonder you once possessed—the essence that life sought to extinguish. In their laughter, and their needs, you begin to understand the purity of love and the power of forgiveness—not just for the one who hurt you, but for yourself.
You realize the road ahead will be full of challenges, but every step you take brings you closer to the woman you were born to be. The profound self-love that for so long has lingered in the darkness of abuse can now be found if you embrace life without fear, fiercely nurture your well-being, and infuse each day with unyielding hope.
Bravery, you realize, is not solely etched in grand gestures or heroic sacrifices. Sometimes, it is simply the quiet strength it takes to survive, to continue fighting for the light within us all, and to recognize that reclaiming yourself is a journey worth taking.
~
Photo credit: Image provided by the storyteller.
