Dedication: To all the people who could of helped me but didn't
Trigger warning: Before reading this post, please be aware that it includes references to childhood rape and other forms of sexual and emotional abuse.
Hello, my name is L. Just L. My surname doesn’t define me in any shape or form, due to the fact not only is this my biological father’s name but also my abuser’s name. I was sexually abused from 9-11 by the man I called “daddy”. I was groomed. At 13 I learnt I was raped. The police questioned that they thought all teenagers understood what was defined as sex. I didn’t I unknowingly described not knowing it’s called sex.
This evil figure in my life groomed me in such evilness that I stopped analysing him as a father but a ” husband” despite being really young I ached for my fathers love I often heard him saying “he didn’t’t like daughters”I wanted it so bad I would go any length to gain him to love me he knew that. After every abuse, I would say I love you daddy but in return, I got swears that have destroyed my self-esteem levels. All I wanted is to be daddy’s little angell.
First, he groomed me into believing its normal by making me witness him raping my mum.
By showing me indecent videos (porn)
By buying me more things more than my siblings and tearing my bond with my mum apart. My innocence was stolen. He physically abused my siblings. Social
Services were involved in my life since the age of 4 but they failed us. In 2013 my father was allowed back in the house after my sister reported him for hitting her. My abuse started in 2014 this could have been prevented but was not. He physically mentally sexually and emotionally abused my mother which we witnessed I was the main witness I could have prevented this by telling someone but I didn’t cos I didn’t want a broken family. My parents fought every day my mother had epilepsy and learning difficulties she was in such a bad state she stayed in bed for weeks we all stayed on our jackets as my father refused to allow the heaters on. When he got cold he only turned it on his room. He stole and had control over her cards and stole up to 20,000 from Her and gambled with her money without her permission and also taking loans on her name which she has to pay for till this day.
I recently found out due to lack of evidence he wasn’t charged for the sexual abuse he did against me I had a breakdown and I was already self-harming I was sent to the hospital for a week however that wasn’t meant to happen Camhs had failed me as they didn’t discharge me earlier. He is still around other children and that puts fear inside me. I only had hope for the 2 cases my mother put against him it went to cps but taken back as she was an adult she could have spoken and cos of memory issues because of
Her medication. I have PTSD and depression I have had to move away from home cos I can’t handle the flashbacks nor nightmares. I live with my maternal aunt but for how long? We got no justice my mum is in debt and can’t afford new house council takes ages. I want to be with my family.
My way of getting justice is through others knowing my story. I have become stronger.
You’re my last hope
A plead from a14-year-