Dedication: Trashawn 🥀 rose
My name is Angelea, I am 37 years old a mother of 4 and married but separated. Late November 2018 my oldest son at 19yrs old was killed, and 2 months after his murder my husband of 11 years( together for 19 years ) expressed that he was in love with(Married) co-worker .He no longer wanted to be in a relationship with me . My whole world had been turned upside down and nothing was familiar anymore. I could not comprehend what was happening to my life. It felt like a nightmare that became my Reality.
I couldn’t eat, sleep,think and Depressed Very suicidal. I can remember praying and crying calling out for god on the floor curled up in a fetal position ,in a dark room for a entire day .
I prayed as if my life depended on it (IT DID)!!!
I eventually started to find ways to hide my pain. I started to work more hours at work. I noticed that I had started to lose weight so From stressing. So I decided to practice eating healthier and going to the gym. I went back to school and church. I thought if I dressing different and switched my hair Style my husband would want me again.
I just wanted us to heal together as a family!
I started to do Ecstasy pills and drink everyday. I wanted my husband to hurt and feel the pain that I felt. So I started a relationship with a younger man which was his nieces kids father. I just wanted the pain to go away but instead I caused more pain. I took my pain and inflicted onto her. I was hurting other woman, mother and someone I called family . How could I Be so low down?! destroying her family when I knew how precious having a family is because I was fighting for mines.
It was already two families tore apart and because of my horrible behavior there were now two.
Over the past year I’ve been to two mental hospitals, one rehabilitation center and to Texas twice. I was running from myself but everywhere I went I was there.
No matter what I did or where I went the pain was waiting for me.
